


Home is where you make it

by ToTheStarsWriting



Series: A cross-dimensional love [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec is a leader, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, BAMF Gabriel (Supernatural), BAMF Magnus Bane, Communication, F/F, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Gabriel is a Little Shit, Gift Fic, Head of the Institute Alec Lightwood, Hurt Alec Lightwood, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Protective Alec Lightwood, Protective Gabriel, Protective Magnus Bane, Tags Are Hard, Tags May Change, Talking, archangel powers, mindreading, sometimes his family forgets that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:14:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 41,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28175982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToTheStarsWriting/pseuds/ToTheStarsWriting
Summary: The first time Alec Lightwood met Gabriel Engelhorn, bets had run through the Institute about how long it would take for Alec to either hit him or ship him off somewhere else.No one expected them to get along as well as they did. Or for Gabriel to meet Magnus, and for the two of them to strike up a friendship that could terrify the hearts of lesser beings. But after a few months, it was hard for Alec and Magnus to picture a life without him in it.But when Alec gets kidnapped, some truths come to light that show that maybe they don't know their new friend quite so well as they thought. But, they're willing to try, if he's willing to let them.
Relationships: Clary Fray/Isabelle Lightwood, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Simon Lewis/Maia Roberts/Jace Wayland, future Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood/Gabriel (supernatural)
Series: A cross-dimensional love [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2064135
Comments: 66
Kudos: 257





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a gift for a friend who wanted to see some Gabriel/Alec/Magnus. If you're not into that, or into poly ships, I understand completely and I won't be offended if you don't read. :) But if you do read, don't say I didn't warn you!
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy this. Thanks for reading!
> 
> If you'd like to join a Multifandom server on Discord, come hang out [HERE](https://discord.gg/82pvdE39fD) in the Fandom Playhouse with me and a group of amazing people!
> 
> Also, though I'm rarely on there, you can find me on tumblr [HERE](https://to-the-stars-writing.tumblr.com/) and say hi, send an ask, or even leave me a prompt if you'd like :)

There were some days that Alec hated his Institute almost as much as he loved it. Or, more accurately, _running_ his Institute.

Being the Head of the Institute was something he’d always known he was going to do. It was what he’d trained for practically from birth. But knowing and actually doing were two entirely different things. Not just in terms of responsibility, either, because Alec was prepared for that. What he hadn’t ever thought of was how it would affect the other aspects of his life. Something that had recently started to become a lot clearer to him.

Namely the way other people treated him.

Not the anger that some greeted him with. Alec could handle that without missing a beat. No, it was the way that the people he respected treated him. The ones in the Institute who might not have been his friends before, but they’d been kind of like coworkers. Colleagues. Alec missed the days when, yeah, people got out of the way of his temper, but they also had no qualm about sparring with him. In fact, they’d seemed to like the challenge.

Nowadays, there were very few who were willing to spar with the Head of the Institute. Or with Alec Lightwood. He wasn’t quite sure which one it was.

Jace insisted it was just Alec, and what he referred to as Alec’s _resting bitch-face._ A term he’d apparently heard from Simon and immediately decided suited Alec perfectly.

 _Asshole_.

The urge to growl rumbled up Alec’s chest. Jace wasn’t around – off on vacation with Simon and Maia, something that he’d more than earned lately. Alec had been happy to grant him the time off. But… Isabelle wasn’t around either, taking a quiet evening with Clary so the two could go to dinner. All of which meant that Alec was left without his usual sparring partners, and a whole ton of pent-up anger leftover from the _stupid_ Clave meeting he’d just left.

He couldn’t even go to Magnus to try and burn out his temper. Not only because he hated going to Magnus when he was upset by the Clave – he had no right to complain to _Magnus_ of all people about the Clave, not after everything that man had gone through thanks to them. But Magnus wasn’t at home either. He’d been at a Council meeting all day long and had told Alec that morning when they parted that he wasn’t sure when he’d be home.

Despite no longer being the High Warlock of Brooklyn, Magnus _was_ still an essential part of the Warlock Council. His skill, strength, experience, and intelligence made sure that the role was something he wasn’t going to lose, even if he was no longer presiding over Brooklyn. Something that Alec knew drove Lorenzo _insane_.

Magnus didn’t even try and hide his amusement at that.

The thought of going back to an empty loft didn’t appeal to Alec at all. It looked like he was going to be stuck beating on another few punching bags until they broke just to burn out some of this aggression.

That was the plan – right up until Alec hit the training room and found someone already in there. Alec would’ve retreated, or adjusted his plans, except he caught the flash of golden hair as the man twisted through a few quick blows at an imaginary opponent, and recognition hit him.

Alec felt a sharp grin stretch over his lips. It looked like he’d get the chance to spar after all.

“That right hook’s looking a little sloppy,” Alec called out as he walked into the room.

The words were a boldfaced lie, and the man he’d called them out to knew that.

Gabriel Engelhorn finished the last of his form, and he was already grinning as he straightened up. That grin was bright and lit him up in a way that took him from kind-of-cute to a bit dangerous and sexy at the same time. Alec was secure enough in himself to be able to admit that now. Gabriel was an attractive man. He was short, a little more solid than some of the men here, with golden hair and darker golden eyes, and an almost constant smirk that left a person feeling like he was either up to some kind of trouble or he’d just done something troublesome.

The man had come to the Institute a few months back with one of the waves of recruits that came in after Valentine’s defeat. He was bold, brash, sharp-tongued, and had a penchant for pranks that would’ve had Alec ready to murder him if they weren’t so damn _funny_.

Though no one had said it where Alec could hear them, he’d known from the start that bets were going on about how long it would take Alec to get sick of the guy and ship him off somewhere else. Especially after that _event_ in the Ops Center where Gabriel had not only wolf-whistled at Magnus, he’d grinned when Alec turned to glare at him, and then proceeded to tell Alec, “Don’t worry, gorgeous. I’d happily climb the both of you. I’m a pretty equal opportunity kind of guy like that.” Then he’d winked and walked away.

Alec should’ve been furious at someone – a subordinate – talking to him that way. Or for treating Magnus that way. He’d even gone to scold Gabriel for it.

Somehow, that conversation had turned into a longer one, and then somehow into a sparring match, and it’d only snowballed from there. Alec had seen something in Gabriel that night that had changed his mind on quite a few things. He’d caught a glimpse of something in his eyes as they’d sparred, as they’d talked, that had reminded him of Magnus. That broken sort of light. One that made Alec feel like Gabriel knew what was coming and was just waiting for the moment someone kicked him out and gave up.

What had started out as a plan for a long talk and a punishment had ended up becoming the start of a beautiful friendship. Not just between Alec and Gabriel, but between Gabriel and Magnus, too. The two connected one night when Magnus saw Gabriel at Pandemonium, and that night turned into once-a-week meetups for talking and dancing. Then somehow that turned into occasional dinners at the loft before they left. Sometimes they’d drag Alec along, sometimes they’d go out on their own.

Now, four months after Gabriel’s arrival at the Institute, he’d become one of Alec’s closest friends outside of his family.

One of the things that Alec had come to love about Gabriel was that the man never shied away from telling him the truth. Or from giving him shit, either. Alec’s title never got in the way of their friendship. At the same time, he was also extremely respectful of Alec’s rank, and he wasn’t the type to disobey an order. He walked that line better than even Alec’s siblings were able to do.

Gabriel grinned at him now and drew himself up in a deliberate stretch. “My right hook was fine and you know it, handsome. You looking for me to show you?”

“Maybe,” Alec said easily. “I mean, if you think you’re up for it.”

That earned Alec a laugh. Gabriel pushed up onto his toes and then dropped back down, giving a little shake as he went like he was shaking out his muscles. “You sure you wanna risk it? I’m one up on you, kiddo.”

A chart hung on the side of the training room where Gabriel and Alec had taken to keeping track of who won their sparring sessions. At the moment, Gabriel was right. He was ahead by one.

Alec took a step forward and began to shed some of his clothes. “We’ll see about that.” His jacket was dropped down on the bench, followed by his tie and shirt, leaving him in just an undershirt and slacks. He would’ve changed those too if he’d felt capable of staying calm long enough to go to his room and get some sweats to work out in. As it was, his skin was practically crawling with the need to hit something, and he definitely wasn’t in the mood to wait.

The look Gabriel gave him was suddenly calculating. He didn’t waste any more of Alec’s time with teasing words or anything else that might draw things out. With a bright grin, he popped up on his toes again, and then he was suddenly moving, his fist flying for Alec’s head.

Alec’s grin grew. He dodged that first blow, though he wasn’t quite quick enough to dodge the next. He had to take the fist to his shoulder and roll with it to keep it from knocking him down.

What came next was exactly the kind of spar that Alec needed after that meeting. Gabriel was never one to pull his punches just because he happened to be sparring against the Head of his Institute. It didn’t matter to him. He gave just as good as he got and often laughed as he did it.

It felt so _good_ to burn himself out against someone who so clearly could handle themselves. Despite Gabriel’s smaller size, he was fast and he was _strong_. He could hold up against blows that might’ve set others back on their heels a bit. Everything Alec gave to him, the man gave back tenfold, and he took Alec’s blows like they were nothing. It was _perfect_. Exactly what Alec needed to end a shitty day.

He lost track of how long they sparred for. Sometimes Gabriel could be a talker during fights, but sometimes he got like this – silent and fast. He moved quickly and kept Alec on his toes the entire time.

By the time Alec got Gabriel pinned to the ground and the other man had tapped out, they were both sweaty, bruised, and Alec felt less like he was going to kill someone.

The two rose together, and Gabriel grinned at him once he was on his feet. “Good fight.”

Alec huffed out a breath as he straightened back up. He caught the towel Gabriel tossed his way. With one edge, he reached up and wiped at his face. “You let me win.”

To Gabriel’s credit, the man didn’t even try and deny it. He shrugged one shoulder and smirked. Then he turned his back and began to make his way over to the nearby benches. “Only a little. You took me down fair and square at the end there, kiddo.”

“I only got the chance because you passed up at least three different opportunities to take me down.”

Pausing at the bench, Gabriel turned his head just enough to wink at Alec. “Five.” He laughed at the exasperated look Alec gave him. “Oh, don’t give me that look. You and I both know you needed that.” Gabriel plopped down on the bench without any of the grace he could show in his fighting. There, he leaned back against the wall and used his own towel to wipe at his face. Those his tone remained easy, the look those amber eyes flashed Alec’s way was abruptly serious. “I take it your super-secret Clave meeting didn’t go all that well?”

The question threw Alec for a split second. He knew the surprise showed on his face. How the hell had Gabriel known about that? Alec hadn’t even told _Magnus_ about this meeting! Which was honestly part of why no one was here. If they’d known he had the meeting today, one of his family would’ve insisted on lingering around the Institute.

Alec thought about being annoyed by Gabriel for a full five seconds. Then he gave it up as pointless. “One of these days I’m going to figure out how you manage to find out the things you know,” he said, strolling forward as he did. He sank down onto the bench beside Gabriel and mimicked his pose – head resting back against the wall, legs stretched out.

The soft bump of Gabriel’s shoulder against his arm had Alec turning just enough to look over and down at his friend.

“What’s going on, kiddo?”

A heavy sigh escaped Alec before he could stop it. He hadn’t intended on really talking about this with anyone. He never did. Clave meetings… those weren’t something he really liked to repeat. Not just because the words they said were often hard to hear but because, well, the last thing Alec wanted was to listen to the response from others. They all tried to be supportive – Alec wasn’t trying to suggest they didn’t. They just also tended to… well, make him feel like shit at the same time. Even if they didn’t mean to.

There were only so many times Alec could hear how proud of him they all were for stepping up and fighting this fight without starting to feel a little insulted that they’d all apparently thought he was just some raging asshole before. And that wasn’t even touching the jokes they made about Magnus being ‘good for him’ like he somehow magically changed Alec. Like Alec hadn’t been a good person before Magnus. The implications of which were both gross and offensive.

They meant well, Alec knew, which was why he kept his mouth shut. They weren’t trying to be hurtful.

In the end, it just became easier to not talk to them about these things. Then no one had to deal with that.

Another shoulder bump drew Alec out of his head. Gabriel didn’t say anything. The gesture was simply a reminder that he was there and listening.

Sighing, Alec closed his eyes and laid his head back against the wall again. “It was just a really long meeting in which I managed to get maybe a _third_ of the things approved that I wanted.” Which the Council was going to just _love_. Especially considering the things approved hadn’t been anywhere near the most important on his list.

“Every little win is a victory,” Gabriel reminded him.

Alec snorted. “Yeah. I’ll be sure to tell them that at the next cabinet meeting.” _That_ was sure to go over well.

“It’s better than what they had before.”

“So? It’s still not good enough.” They deserved better. Every Downworlder deserved better. They deserved to be treated like _people_. The fact that the Clave was fighting Alec so hard on that only further proved just how terrible shadowhunters could be. Everyone in the Council had a right to be upset about these things. Alec wasn’t even trying to deny that.

“Hey.” Gabriel kicked lightly at Alec’s leg. When Alec opened his eyes to look down at him, he found Gabriel giving him a stern look that was a whole lot more serious than he normally wore. “I’m not trying to say you guys aren’t right to be frustrated by how slow the Clave is moving, and I’m not saying they should be happy with scraps. You know I agree with you on equal rights. I’m just saying, sometimes you gotta celebrate the win, even if it’s a little one. You’re busting your ass here, kiddo. That counts for something.”

The sincerity in his voice left Alec a little choked up. To hear his efforts validated instead of talked down or treated like they were terrible or not good enough, it meant a lot. More than he’d realized it would. “Thanks.”

“You’re doing good, Alec. You’re doing everything you can to try and get equal rights for everyone. They don’t get to treat you like shit because it’s not happening fast enough. It’s not your fault the Clave is full of bigots.”

“I just don’t want anyone thinking I’m dismissing this because of who they are,” Alec said.

This time it was Gabriel who snorted. “If they believe that, they don’t have a clue about you.” He grinned at the small huff of laughter that got him. Then he asked, “Have you tried talking to Sparkles about it? He might have some ideas on how to handle the Clave _and_ the Council.”

Alec licked at his lips and shook his head. It took him a second to make sure his voice would come out steady before he spoke. “I don’t like coming to him with this kind of stuff. He’s dealt with the Clave enough.”

“So he’d be the perfect ear to listen.”

But Alec shook his head. No, this wasn’t something he wanted to bring to Magnus. Just the thought of it was enough to make him want to squirm. Considering Magnus’ history with the Clave, well, it just seemed like a better idea to _not_ bring him into these things at all. He’d dealt with shadowhunters and their bigotry for so long. Like the other Downworlders, Magnus was no doubt impatient for change, and Alec already got enough at Council meetings about how slowly things were moving along despite all his efforts. He wasn’t sure he could handle hearing it from Magnus, too.

This time when Alec shook his head, it was less a denial of Gabriel’s words and more an effort to dismiss his own thoughts. Worrying about telling Magnus or anyone else wasn’t going to do him any good. Now that he’d been able to burn out his annoyance with the Clave – and thank the angel for Gabriel being here to help with that – he felt more capable of handling the rest.

There was a hint of something amused to the curve of Gabriel’s mouth and the crinkles of his eyes when Alec turned toward him. At what, who knew. Alec chose to ignore it and just give the man a smile of his own. “Thanks for sparring with me, Gabriel.”

Gabriel proved yet again why he was such a good friend when he didn’t push Alec on the so clearly-closed topic. He smiled like they hadn’t been having a serious talk, and cheekily said, “Anytime you want your ass kicked, you know where to find me.”

Alec left the training room with a laugh, and his middle finger held up over his shoulder.

* * *

Whether it was because of the sparring or their talk afterward, Alec felt a little lighter when he left the Institute and began to walk toward the loft. Some of the weight he’d been carrying with him ever since he walked out of that meeting was gone. Not all of it, no. Alec was pretty sure he was going to continue to carry that weight with him for quite a while. His fight against the Clave was one that he knew could take a lifetime or more. But at least that felt a little less insurmountable now.

Later, Alec would be furious with himself for just how caught up he was in those thoughts.

He’d rounded the corner that would take him onto the street the loft was on when something tugged at him just seconds too late. Alec barely had time to turn his head before a flash of orange light hit him.

Alec had one split second to swear inside his own mind. Then the magic struck him, sending him flying back into the building beside him.

He was unconscious before he hit the ground.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for the aftermath of violence - this is where the hurt Alec comes in. But there is NO MCD in here so don't worry about that :)

Once upon a time, walking into the New York Institute had been something Magnus only did when he absolutely had to – and when he was well paid to do it, of course. He’d taken great pleasure in overcharging the nephilim that summoned him. A nuisance fee, as he’d explained it to Ragnor one night, the two of them grinning into their drinks after yet another ridiculous request from the local shadowhunters that Magnus had helped with – for about three times the price he would’ve charged anyone else.

Things had definitely changed since then.

Magnus had a much better reason to be coming to the Institute now, and much more frequently, too.

When he walked through the front doors, there was only one destination in mind. The same one he always had. Whether it be for bad reasons – like trips to the infirmary or dark visits to the training room that thankfully hadn’t happened for a while. Or for good reasons like tonight – fetching his darling from his office, picking him up after work, surprising him with some lunch. Whatever it was, good or bad, the main reason always stayed the same. _Alec_.

Tonight, Magnus had portaled home first, where he’d expected to find his boyfriend either already asleep in their bed or curled up on the couch reading and waiting for him. When he’d found neither, it was an easy decision to come here and fetch him. Or find out what was going on. Alec had promised he’d be off when Magnus was done, which meant that either he’d gotten caught up in work, found his way on to a patrol, or something had happened.

Nobody stopped Magnus as he walked through the Institute in search of his errant boyfriend. In fact, a couple people waved. Something which once would’ve seemed impossible.

Gone were the days where Magnus was sneered at the whole time or guarded like he was going to suddenly turn on them and try to kill them all. Instead, he was able to walk in through the front doors without being stopped, and while he might pick up someone along the way to Alec, it wasn’t as a guard. It was more often than not a _friend._ Strange as that might be to apply to one of the angel-blooded. Isabelle, Clarissa, Gabriel, even Jace. They would walk and talk with Magnus. Or, at the very least, direct him to where Alec was.

Today, he didn’t have their help, so it was taking him a while to find his boyfriend.

A quick search revealed that Alec wasn’t in the Ops Center, wasn’t in his office, and he wasn’t in one of the training rooms, either.

Magnus quickened his steps as he hurried back toward the Ops Center to see if maybe Alec _had_ gone on patrol. He comforted himself with that, though it was worry all on its own.

One of the first people Magnus saw when he reached the Ops Center was Andrew Underhill. As Head of Security, a job that Magnus knew the man took very seriously, he was the most likely candidate for finding out where Alec was. Andrew made a point to not only watch out for the security of the Institute but also the security of its Head. Something that Magnus wasn’t quite sure Alec realized. He wasn’t sure if Alec knew about all the extra precautions that Andrew took when Alec was there, or when he would have a meeting, or any time he thought his boss might be at risk. It was a little secret Magnus was more than happy to help keep.

It didn’t do Magnus’ nerves any good when Andrew looked up and immediately looked confused at the sight of him. His words only made Magnus’ worry grow. “Magnus – what are you doing here?”

The question wasn’t asked out of any kind of maliciousness. But it set Magnus on edge. He tried to brush it off, to pull up his masks and smile at Andrew like there wasn’t a thing wrong, though something deep in the core of his magic was starting to twist with that unfortunately familiar feeling of unease that came every time Alec was in trouble.

“I was just here to fetch Alexander.” Magnus flashed a smile that he hoped looked far easier than it felt. “You haven’t seen him around here, have you?”

The furrow between Andrew’s brows grew a little stronger. He straightened up, entirely at attention now, and he turned away from the monitors to face Magnus head-on. “Alec left to go home almost two hours ago.”

 _Two hours ago_. Magnus felt the bottom drop out of his stomach. If Alec had left here two hours ago, there was absolutely no reason why he shouldn’t have been at home already. Not just home, but stripped down to comfortable clothes, likely freshly showered even, and relaxing somewhere. On an average day, it took Alec only fifteen to twenty minutes to get to the loft. He liked to run there. The longest it took was forty minutes with some really bad traffic, and that was only if he took a cab.

But _two hours?_

Magnus fought back the panic that wanted to crawl up his throat. There were plenty of viable reasons that Alec might not be anywhere. He could’ve gone out to pick up food, perhaps as a surprise. Or maybe he and Gabriel had gone out to eat somewhere. It wouldn’t be the first time. Especially since Alec knew Magnus wouldn’t be home until late.

None of that logic was working to quell the bad feeling deep down inside of him, though. Magnus pulled his phone out of his pocket – no new messages, dammit – and quickly swiped his fingers to unlock it. The image of Alec’s smiling face that he was greeted with was like a punch to the gut. Magnus took the blow and kept on going. A few taps were all it took to have Alec’s phone ringing in his ear.

At the same time that Magnus stood there listening to ring after ring, Andrew had twisted to the computer and pulled up what looked like some sort of cellphone tracking.

The generic voice of the answering service cut in through the ringing. Alec didn’t like the idea of recording his voice on there. He said it made him feel like an idiot. Magnus had yet to convince him to do it.

As soon as it started, Magnus lowered the phone and ended the call. When he looked back to Andrew, the man was shaking his head. “I’m not picking up any signal from his phone. Either it’s off, or it’s been damaged.”

A new voice cut into the silent moment of fear that fell over the two men.

“Hey, shouldn’t you be at home canoodling with that pretty boyfriend of yours?”

Magnus turned to find Gabriel making his way toward them. Usually, the sight of his friend was enough to make Magnus want to smile. Gabriel was one of those new, amazing things that had come with this newer generation of nephilim. He was a shadowhunter who wasn’t a member of Alec’s family, hadn’t gone through the horrors of Valentine here with them, and yet he and Magnus got on like a house on fire. Sometimes literally, as Alec was known to joke.

Gabriel was someone Magnus had come to call _friend_ in a way he was so rarely able to with people. It helped that Gabriel also cared strongly about Alec. Not just as his Institute Head, but also as a friend. One of the few that Alec had.

If he were here, that meant that Alec _definitely_ wasn’t out with him.

Gabriel took one look at Magnus’ face, and his brows drew down. He stopped beside Magnus and reached out to curl a hand over his arm. “What’s wrong?”

With the others, Magnus might’ve tried to dissemble. To play it off as something less than it was. With Gabriel, that wouldn’t work. Not just because Magnus wasn’t going to lie to his friend – Gabriel knew him too well for it to honestly work. So, Magnus leaned into the touch of his friend, and he drew in a breath to steady himself. “We can’t seem to find Alec. He wasn’t at home when I went there, and he doesn’t seem to be here, either. Nor is his phone showing up anywhere.”

“Have you tried calling him?”

Magnus leveled a sharp look Gabriel’s way. He made a sweeping gesture with the hand still holding his phone. “No, of course not. In all my efforts to search for Alexander, it failed to cross my mind to try _calling him_. Silly me.”

Unlike most people, Gabriel didn’t ever really mind Magnus’ snark. He tended to return it just as easily, and often with a smile. This time he just ignored it. The usual humor was gone from his face. In its place was that seriousness that he got sometimes. The one that left Magnus wondering what had happened to him before he came here. “Do you have something of his handy we can try tracking him with?”

The logical, practical words were like an anchor in the storm. They were something Magnus could latch on to. Something he could _do_. He could get an item of Alec’s, and he could do a tracking spell.

With a snap, Magnus had Alec’s favorite sweater out of their closet and in his hand. It was new, well-worn, and a little big on him. They’d found it at a big-and-tall store that Magnus had impulsively taken him to when they’d been walking and window-shopping one afternoon. They’d perused the store and picked up a few little things, some pants, but then Alec had seen that sweater. He’d fallen in love with the softness of it and the way it extended down over his hands. The soft look on his face had been enough for Magnus to buy it.

Since then, Alec liked to wear it around the loft. He liked to snuggle up in it when the nights got cold. So many times now, Magnus had found his boyfriend tucked into one corner of the couch with his sweater on, tugged down around his hands, reading a book.

Magnus curled his fingers into the soft material and let out a breath. He closed his eyes and drew on his magic. It practically leapt out of him, twisting around and into the fabric of the sweater in a tracking spell he didn’t even have to think to do.

Usually, the spell only took seconds to see something. A little magic, a little focus, and he could see what it was he was looking for – especially when using something as personal as this. But… there was nothing. Magnus’ hand clenched a little tighter on Alec’s sweater. His magic was reaching, stretching out to try and find something, only to come up against wall after wall preventing him from seeing anything.

Fury rolled through Magnus like a tidal wave. That wasn’t the block of water, which turned up absolutely nothing when you tried to track someone. That was a _ward_ – something deliberately geared to keep _Magnus_ from finding him. No shadowhunter runes could do that. Not even the powerful ones that Clarissa created.

No, this was _magic_. A _warlock_ had taken Magnus’ lover somewhere shielded against him. For what reason was anyone’s guess. There were far too many to choose from. The point was, they’d _taken him_. The fear Magnus had felt before was almost lost underneath the sheer _rage_ that he felt now. He opened his eyes and knew that his glamour was gone. That his eyes would be sparking with magic for anyone to see. He just didn’t care.

Gabriel met his gaze without a hint of fear. “Nothing?”

“No. He’s being held behind wards somewhere.”

“So someone definitely took him?” Andrew asked. He opened his mouth to speak again, only to shut it abruptly. A small flash of something was there and gone again on Andrew’s face. If Magnus hadn’t turned to look at him, he might’ve missed it.

Slowly turning the rest of his body, Magnus focused his full attention on the shadowhunter. He vaguely felt Gabriel doing the same thing beside him. Both of them were concentrated fully on Andrew now. “You know something,” Magnus said lowly, his voice dark and dangerous in a way that promised pain to anyone stupid enough to get in his way right now.

The words weren’t phrased as a question, yet Magnus still waited for an answer.

Andrew looked vaguely uncomfortable underneath Magnus’ stare. He didn’t say anything, though.

“I suggest you answer him,” Gabriel chimed in. His voice was even darker than Magnus’, and there was a strong note of something that just demanded obedience. Strong enough that it had Andrew snapping to attention in front of him. Gabriel narrowed his eyes on him, and his voice darkened even more. “I guarantee you won’t like it if _I’ve_ gotta ask, bucko.”

Even knowing that something was going on wasn’t enough to prepare Magnus for what Andrew shared with him. He’d thought maybe some kind of secret meeting, or some mission Alec didn’t want him to know about. What he _didn’t_ expect was for Andrew to tell him, “Alec’s been receiving some threats lately.”

The whole world went still. “I beg your pardon?”

Andrew grimaced, and his look was apologetic, while the rest of him still stood at attention. “He said he wasn’t too concerned about it. That they weren’t anything big. I probably wouldn’t have found out if I hadn’t discovered one of the letters on his desk.”

The tight feeling in Magnus’ chest grew even tighter. “Someone left him a threatening letter _on his desk_?” How the hell had they gotten past Magnus’ wards to do that??

They had to be a shadowhunter – someone already in the building who would be able to get past the wards with no trouble. Or the person sending the letter was working with one of the shadowhunters.

“Just the one,” Andrew said it like that was supposed to be a reassurance. Alec was getting threatened – something that he’d told no one about, something they were going to have _words_ about – by people who were capable of getting in and leaving letters on his desk, but oh, don’t worry, _it was just the one_.

Sparks of magic crackled around Magnus’ hands. When he got Alec back home, he was going to murder him for keeping something like this from him, then resurrect him just so he could yell at him about the stupidity of secrets like these. Death threats were the kind of thing one partner shared with another.

The hand that Gabriel still had on Magnus’ arm, somehow not dislodged yet, gave a firm squeeze. Gabriel waited until Mangus turned to face him to speak. “Plan his murder later. I’ll even help you. For now, we need to figure out a plan.”

A low snarl built in Magnus’ chest. “I _have_ a plan.”

Without another word, Magnus turned away from them and began to march toward the front of the Institute. He heard Andrew call out something behind him, trying to get his attention, but Magnus didn’t care. All his focus was on getting to his loft and gathering all the supplies necessary for a tracking spell stronger than the one he’d just used.

He’d done his research after everything with Valentine, and he’d been working hard on finding a way to try and break through warding with a stronger tracking spell. The personal ties between him and Alec should, in theory, only make that easier.

He heard Gabriel fall into step beside him but didn’t bother to turn to look at him. Not even when Magnus ripped open a portal and Gabriel followed in right behind him.

The two stepped out of the portal and into Magnus’ loft. Once there, Magnus strode straight for his apothecary. He didn’t pay any attention to whatever it was that Gabriel was doing. Though he heard his voice going a time or two, clearly talking to someone, Magnus didn’t care. He was too busy gathering what he needed for his spell. Some of it he’d already figured out, and some of it he’d only been able to do in theory. A lot of this was going to be sort of _by the seat of his pants_ magic. Which could either go very, very wrong, or he could invent a new kind of magic.

A little bit of sage, some ashwagandha, some water from the seelie glade to act as a scrying tool, a few dragon scales to help add strength and draw on the bond that already existed between Magnus and Alec. A drop of his own blood, heavily infused with his magic. That would give the spell an anchor in Magnus. It’d also be able to reach out to the bit of his magic that sat inside of Alec.

Magnus added a few more ingredients before he took the pot with him to his spell room. The very same room he’d used back when he’d first met Alec. Though the layout of the loft had changed since then, Magnus had kept the room. Just moved it. It was good for spells like these that required space, wards, and a strong circle.

He ignored the sound of voices that were steadily growing louder. No one came in the room with him, which was all that mattered.

The bowl was placed on the ground in the very center of the circle. A few quick gestures and a burst of magic to call up the protections in the room made sure that his spell wasn’t going to go careening away from him and cause anyone harm. It was all the focus Magnus could spare for anyone who wasn’t _Alec_ right then.

He planted his feet on either side of the bowl, back just one single step, and grounded himself in the familiar feel of his spell room. Magnus anchored his body and his magic, and then he began to chant.

“What is he doing?” a voice asked – _Isabelle’s voice_.

She was right outside the wards he had on this room, as well as both Jace and Clary, too, and though he knew he should, Magnus honestly didn’t care how it was they’d gotten there so quickly. All of his focus was on the spell slowly building in his hands.

Thankfully, he didn’t have to pay attention to any of them. Gabriel was still there, and he stepped in for Magnus, warning them, “Just stay back. He’s going to find Alec.”

The magic Magnus was calling on slowly began to build around him. Little by little, piece by piece, he built it up around the bowl, weaving it through the contents that he usually would’ve taken the time to add slowly and carefully. Magnus just didn’t have the _time_. Instead, he wrapped the bits in his magic and released them one by one, mixing them together until they began to blend on their own. Only then did Magnus add in the last thing – a piece of Alec, a bit of his hair from the brush in the bathroom that Magnus had been nagging at him to throw away.

He’d built the anchor, started the first lines of the tether, and now he’d added the connection to his endpoint. Now to pour his magic into it and guide it. Magnus brought his hands together in front of him and channeled his magic there. Then, slowly, he drew his hands apart and began to tease the magic up from the bowl.

A typical tracking spell relied on the connection of a personal item to a person, usually. This spell was taking that connection and amplifying it tenfold. Instead of a thread between one place and the next, this was countless threads twisting and twining together to form a thick rope – one that Magnus held briefly in his hands before he used his magic and his intent to cast it out to the one he was searching for.

Like a magnet, the two called to one another – Alec and the spell-rope. Magnus felt a brief moment of resistance as the rope hit the wall of wards that had been put up. He snarled and fed it more magic, more strength, pushing it down that line until the wards didn’t just break – they _shattered._

All at once, the connection between Alec and Magnus snapped to life. He could feel him, _see_ him, and there was a brief moment of joy followed by one of absolute horror as waves of pain washed over him. The connection was weak, far too weak considering the amount of strength Magnus had thrown into it, and that could only mean one thing.

They were running out of time.

Magnus held on long enough to _see_ where Alec was being held. He sent all the love he could down that line, and a silent promise of _I’m coming, Alexander, hang on!_

As soon as Magnus had the location, he let the spell go. With all the power he’d called still sitting there in his hands, aching to be set free, he reached out and didn’t just create a portal, he _tore_ one into existence with little care for anything but getting to Alexander as quickly as he could. He could feel how weak Alec had been, how _hurt_ , and nothing else in the world mattered but getting to him.

The sound of rushing footsteps warned Magnus the others were coming along. Gabriel’s hand caught hold of his, and by extension he likely reached back to make sure the others could come along – and Magnus could feel them all clearer now, feel Isabelle, Clary, and Jace, though he still had no idea how they’d gotten to him so fast. Clary’s portal rune, perhaps?

Either way, they came along with him, and Magnus only spared them enough thought to warn them to “Stay out of my way.”

Together, the group walked through the portal in Magnus’ spell room, and landed in the center of a cold room deep underground, lit only by actual _torches_ on the walls.

Not that Magnus paid any attention to those things. He only had eyes for the man strung up by magic and chains in the middle of the room. Alec’s body hung limply, toes just barely touching the ground as he swayed, and his body was a mess of red and black streaks that _almost_ looked like paint. _Almost_. Magnus knew better, and he could feel bile rising up in his throat right along with his fury.

Isabelle’s pained “Alec” jolted Magnus out of his stupor.

Magic bled from Magnus in furious waves that demanded retribution. He took a step forward and snarled when magic was flung up in his path to stop him. His eyes, which had only seen Alec before, moved now to the people behind him, the ones attempting to stop him from getting to Alec.

Magnus’ fury only grew at what he saw. Four warlocks were there, using their magic to keep him back. Four of his people, with two vampires, stood there with the broken and bleeding body of the most important person in Magnus’ world dangling between them and him.

The instant their eyes locked, the magic went from keeping him back to launching out an offensive. They sought to strike Magnus down or maybe distract him long enough to give themselves a chance to run. Magnus let out a snarl and unleashed his own magic. “Oh no you _don’t_.”

It took everything Magnus had not to burn them all where they stood. He wanted to grab their bodies and pay them back for every moment of pain Alec had clearly suffered through. He wanted to take them and cast them down to Edom, gift-wrapped for his father. No matter the animosity between Magnus and his father, he knew Asmodeus would be pleased with the idea of a _gift_ from his precious son. He’d make damn sure to torture these fools.

But it wasn’t what Alec would want.

Alec, who was still dangling there from the chains, his eyes still closed despite his sister and his parabatai right there trying to activate his iratze. Part of Magnus felt like it cracked when the rune didn’t even light up. No. _No._ “Alexander.”

“Oh, Dad-dammit.”

Gabriel’s voice echoed through the strangely quiet room. He sounded frustrated and annoyed. When he stepped out from behind Magnus, he looked somehow torn between upset and angry, and there was a sharp light to his eyes that made Magnus pay attention.

Amber eyes flashed over to Magnus, and a brief grimace crossed his features. Then Gabriel smoothed that away to make room for a smile that held centuries, _ages_ , of pain. It was a look Magnus had seen on the faces of the oldest warlocks. The ones who had seen and done far too much in their lives.

“Don’t worry, Sparkles. Your boy’s gonna be just fine,” Gabriel reassured him. Then he turned back toward Alec, and in the space of a breath it was as if a cloak fell off of him. Power began to fill the room like a soft breeze. One that seemed to gain in strength with each passing second until it was more like a hurricane. Gabriel didn’t just bleed power – he _was_ power. A very distinct kind of power.

 _Angelic_ power.

The shadowhunter Gabriel fell away in that moment, and the archangel Gabriel took a step forward. Magnus swore he heard the rustle of feathers as he did. Sharp, glowing eyes locked on the ones behind Alec, the ones responsible for this, and a sneer curved Gabriel’s lips. “I’ll deal with you guys later.” A snap of his fingers and the six Downworlders _vanished_.

Once they were gone, Gabriel’s focus was back on Alec.

He closed the distance between them in what felt like the blink of an eye. One minute he was by Magnus, and the next, he was right in front of Alec. He gently pushed Isabelle, Jace, and Clary out of the way, and it was like Gabriel grew a little. Or his power made him seem larger. Either way, he was right up against Alec, staring him face to face. He pressed a palm against Alec’s forehead, and that light around him grew even more, curling in around Alec.

“Don’t even think about it, Kiddo,” Gabriel said firmly. “You’re nowhere near done down here. You’ve got too much left to do. Plus, I’m one-up on you. You really wanna just let me take the win like that?”

The light grew stronger and stronger until Magnus was almost blinded by it. The sound of rustling feathers grew even louder.

Gabriel let out a low growl that reverberated through their very bones and shook the walls of the bunker they were in. “Like _hell_ if I’m letting you have him, you sanctimonious little prick. He’s not yours!” A faint ringing started to echo through the room. Magnus had just long enough to catch a glimpse of Gabriel smacking his free hand over Alec’s chest before the man, _angel_ , was snapping out, “Everyone, shut your eyes. _Now_!”

Magnus got his eyes closed at the same time that the whole world seemed to explode in a blinding flash of light. Something screamed – was it him screaming? Alec? He didn’t know and couldn’t tell. Whatever it was, his magic screamed along with it, and it felt for one second like he’d been dunked deep down into warm water.

In the next second, the world went abruptly dark. Then Magnus heard the most beautiful sound in the world. A low, raspy voice gasping out, “M-Magnus? Gabe?”

Not even the threat of being burned out by raw angelic energy was enough to keep Magnus back after that. His eyes shot open and he was moving in an instant just as soon as he heard Alec’s voice.

He found his boyfriend half sitting on the ground, most of his body propped up against Gabriel, who was squatting beside him. Alec was between Gabriel’s spread knees, leaning sideways into his chest, and he looked exhausted, still hurt, but _alive. He was alive._

Magnus almost sobbed as he dropped down to his knees in front of him. “ _Alexander_.”

Hazy eyes lifted, and one corner of Alec’s mouth curled up. “M’gnus.” Alec sighed, and his body slumped down further into Gabriel. As if now that he knew Magnus was there, he felt free to relax. To let go. His eyes closed, and Magnus could see as Alec gave up the fight and slipped down into unconsciousness.

“ _Alec_ ,” Isabelle’s voice sounded devastated. She dropped down beside Magnus, kneeling at his side to look at her brother, and Clary and Jace were only seconds behind her.

Gabriel’s hand came up to curl over Alec’s head. He held Alec in place so that his head didn’t slump down at an awkward angle. The touch was so visibly gentle. Magnus wasn’t sure, but he thought he saw a faint tremble there before Gabriel pressed his hand in firmer and stilled it.

“He’s all right, just unconscious. But he’ll rest better somewhere far away from here,” Gabriel said. His hold on Alec steadied, and that rustle was back, reaching out around them. “Hang tight, everyone.”

Gabriel lifted his hand and gave yet another snap of his fingers. Only this time, instead of any light show, the whole group found themselves transported to Magnus’ loft. His bedroom, to be exact. Alec landed on the bed with Gabriel and Magnus on either side of it and the others down near the foot.

They’d been _teleported_ in right past Magnus’ wards as if they were nothing. By an _archangel_. Something which Magnus was definitely going to have to think about later. _Much_ later. For now, his focus was on Alec. Somehow during their transfer, Alec had lost his clothes as well as most of the blood on his body. He lay there now in just his boxers with all his wounds out there to see.

The sight of them stole Magnus’ breath. He could see clear cuts on Alec’s arms, his sides, even his legs, and bruises that were very clearly from a rather savage beating. They seemed at least half-healed, thankfully. He wasn’t bleeding out or anything like that. But the sheer amount of them was daunting.

But it wasn’t just those wounds that held Magnus’ focus. It was the one that sat in the center of Alec’s chest – a red, shiny burn mark, in the perfect shape of a hand.

 _Gabriel’s hand_.

Without touching it, Magnus could still feel the amount of power in that burn mark. Fading slightly, yes, but present. That was a mark of pure angelic power. Not just a healing, but more. That was angelic magic, _soul_ magic.

Gabriel didn’t give anyone time to say anything about their transport or about what was now visible to them all. Hands in his pockets, he rocked back on his feet, putting a bit more distance between him and the rest of them. “I healed everything I could. The rest of it is going to need to heal the mundane way. Between the spell they did on him and that semi-resurrection I just did, his body’s been through a lot, and it needs to level out its internal energies.”

“Oh my God,” Clary breathed out. She was clutching tight to Isabelle and staring at Gabriel with wide eyes. “You’re… you’re…”

“The archangel Gabriel, yes, congratulations for figuring that out,” Gabriel said absently. He ignored her to look to Jace instead. “You’ll need to keep from activating your runes for a while. The bond between you two means there’s too much of a chance it could go rushing down to him and set him off. I could put up a temporary block between you two…”

“Hell no!” Jace said instantly.

Gabriel didn’t even miss a beat. “…but something tells me you wouldn’t like that. So, no runes for you. Not until his energies level out again.”

Whatever argument they wanted to have about this was more than Magnus cared to listen to. He not only trusted Gabriel’s words, a fact he was a bit surprised to find was still true even after all this, but he could sense himself that something in Alec wasn’t right. That meant that he was going to have to rely on more mundane healing like Gabriel had suggested. Even Magnus’ magic would be too much of a risk. Human bodies could only handle so much.

Magnus conjured up a medical supply kit to land on the bed next to Alec along with a bowl of water and a cloth. He reached out for the cloth first and began the slow process of cleaning and bandaging all of Alec’s various wounds. He wanted to get it done before Alec woke again and tried to move.

Gabriel took a step toward the bed, and when Magnus glanced up through his lashes, he caught sight of Gabriel’s hand twitching like he wanted to reach out to Alec, only he stopped himself. When he looked down and found Magnus watching him, he abruptly drew himself back even more. “Send up a prayer once he wakes up. I’ll hear it.”

“Where are you going?” Magnus asked him.

Power flashed in Gabriel’s eyes. “To deal with the idiots who were dumb enough to take something that didn’t belong to them.”

A dark part of Magnus was thrilled at the painful promise he could hear in Gabriel’s voice. The rest of him… “Alec will want them alive. So will the Warlock Council. And Raphael.”

It looked for a moment like Gabriel wasn’t going to listen. Not that Magnus could blame him. He couldn’t even bring himself to think of any sort of argument to try and convince him. Not when a large part of him regretted not burning them all while he’d had the chance. But then some of the hard look faded off Gabriel’s face, and he wrinkled his nose. “Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’ll make sure they’re still alive when he’s ready to deal with them, don’t worry your pretty little head.”

With no more than that, the archangel was gone.

For a long moment the bedroom was silent. The only sound was from Magnus as he began to tend once more to his lover. And then moments later when Isabelle came forward to the other side of the bed and began to help. The two of them worked in silence to bandage every one of Alec’s injuries. It was what they knew how to do – the only thing they could do for him now. The rest of it was almost too much to think on. But this? This was something they could do.

It wasn’t until they were done and Alec was lying there, tucked warmly under his favorite blankets with Magnus sitting beside his head, stroking his hair, that someone spoke again.

Clary was the one to break the silence. She stood behind Isabelle, who was seated around Alec’s knee, staring up at her brother with an aching look on her face. “Will he be okay?”

“None of his wounds are life-threatening,” Isabelle said. A shaky sigh left her, and she leaned back against Clary, one hand coming up to reach over her shoulder and clasp at Clary’s.

Jace, who was seated by Alec’s other knee and was holding tightly to Alec’s hand, let out a laugh that cracked ever so slightly in the middle. “I’m pretty sure being healed by an _archangel_ means he’ll be fine.”

“So that… that really was the archangel. Gabriel.” Isabelle’s words were slow, and her voice held a hint of awe to it. As well as a kind of reverence that Magnus had never heard from her.

Abruptly, Magnus was reminded of the fact that these shadowhunters were nephilim. People who had been raised up with the knowledge that angels were _real_. Raziel was responsible for their existence, and that was a fact they never forgot. They carried a love and respect for the angels that was stronger than most zealots out there simply because they _did_ know that those beings were real.

To have met Gabriel face to face, to have him save their brother, it was something even _Magnus_ felt awed by, and though he knew of the existence of demons and angels, hell and heaven, it had never been his religion. It’d never been the core faith he still carried inside him to this day. Not the way it was for these shadowhunters.

He looked down at Alec and wondered how he was going to react. What he would say.

Alec was quietly devout. He respected the angels, as well as their religion. Magnus had witnessed him in prayer more than once. Would he react with the same kind of awe as his siblings?

For Magnus, it didn’t matter who or what Gabriel was. Friend, shadowhunter, archangel, _whatever_. He had saved Alec when no one else would have been able to. Magnus was going to owe him a debt that he’d never be able to pay back.


	3. Chapter 3

Consciousness returned slowly for Alec. The edges of sleep clung to him like ichor, trying to suck him back down, but the feel of gentle hands stroking over his cheeks and the faint sound of Magnus’ low voice worked to help him draw himself up out of it.

“That’s it, darling, there we are.” Magnus’ voice flowed over Alec, pushing back that feeling of ichor on his skin, slowly breaking Alec free from the sinking morass holding him down. “You’re all right, Alexander. I’m right here. I have you.”

The words were faintly familiar. Alec knew he’d heard them before – every time he woke from a nightmare, when he was pulled up out of unconsciousness after missions gone wrong, after a panic attack. Magnus was always there to talk Alec down when reality came crashing back in. To give Alec an anchor even before he knew he needed it.

He was doing the same now. His hands, his voice, anchored Alec as memories came sinking in.

Alec remembered – he remembered being taken. Waking up hanging there, surrounded by the ones who’d taken him. He remembered the pain, the mockery in those voices, the feeling of what he thought was Magnus’ magic, and then the light. Someone grabbing him and demanding he stay. And a burning in his chest that hurt and healed all at the same time.

A soft gasp tore from up Alec’s throat and past his lips at the rush of memories. His whole body jerked, and his eyes flew open, while the air seemed to get caught somewhere in his lungs.

Magnus was right there for him. He was already half on top of Alec. His weight was painful against the injuries Alec could feel, yet it was also was so very grounding that Alec wanted it to never stop. One of his hands was cupped over Alec’s cheek while the other was braced in the bed, keeping his weight from fully sinking down on Alec. His glamour was down, and those beautiful cat eyes were locked right on Alec.

“You’re all right, Alec. We’re at home in our bed. It’s just you and me here, and your siblings are out in the living room hopefully not breaking anything in their rush to get back here. I’ve got the door warded, though, so no one’s getting in yet. It’s just you and me here.”

“ _Magnus_.” That was the only word that would come out. The only one Alec could manage to say. To him, it was the most important word.

The lines of worry on Magnus’ face softened a little. “That’s right. I’m right here with you, _sayang_. You’re _home_.”

If it’d been anyone else, Alec would’ve locked down tight and forced himself under control. Not even Jace would’ve been able to see him like this. Alec would’ve clamped down on their bond to keep his parabatai from feeling it. But with Magnus… with Magnus, he didn’t have to do that. Alec was free to bring a hand up and fist it in the loose fabric of Magnus’ shirt. To cling to the steadiness of his boyfriend until the world stopped feeling like it was going to spin out from underneath him.

Magnus didn’t judge him for needing that moment to reorient himself. He stayed there over Alec, a steady weight on him that had Alec’s body hurting, but not beyond what he could handle. The ache _helped_. Even if Magnus was pushing on his injuries, it still helped. Pain helped Alec know that this was real and he was _alive_. Magnus knew him well enough to know that, and he loved him enough to provide it even if he didn’t approve of Alec’s need for pain sometimes.

It took a few minutes of careful breathing and low steady murmurs from Magnus for Alec to finally feel like he was settled in his own skin again. Magnus seemed to know the same way he always just _knew_. He smiled at Alec and carefully stroked the backs of his knuckles down Alec’s cheek. “There we are, darling.”

“Magnus.” Though Alec had his words back, that still felt like the single most important word to say.

Magnus’ smile grew, and he bent down to brush his nose against Alec’s. “Alexander.”

For a moment longer, the two of them just lay there and breathed each other in. Alec let himself soak up the peace that came from being safe in their home, in their bed, with Magnus right there against him. The rest of it was something they were going to have to deal with, but for that brief moment, he didn’t have to. All he had to do was stay there with Magnus over him and breathe.

Eventually, however, the two of them had to move. The aches from Magnus’ weight on him became a little more than was comfortable.

Alec didn’t even have to say anything. Somehow Magnus seemed to just _know_ , the same way he’d always been able to just know things about Alec. He moved to sit beside Alec’s hip before the shadowhunter even said a word.

When Alec made to try and sit up, Magnus let out a low, almost distressed sound. But he didn’t try and stop him. Instead, he moved quickly to get his hands and magic on Alec. “Here, let me help, darling. You’re still quite a bit more injured than I’d like.”

Even if Alec had wanted to protest, he would’ve lost it all the minute he started to move and the pain came flaring to life. He sucked in a sharp breath and then clamped down on it, biting his teeth together so hard it was a wonder he didn’t crack one of them. Yet he managed to make not a sound as he was carefully drawn up by Magnus’ magic and propped up against a mound of pillows.

“What happened?” Alec asked once he got his breath back. He looked down at himself, at the bandages he could see. His body throbbed with wounds that should’ve rightfully been healed by now. Either by magic or by rune.

A low rustling sound caught Alec’s attention a split second before a familiar voice suddenly spoke up.

“That sounds like my cue.”

Alec blinked his eyes a few times in surprise at hearing that voice. Something in him felt like it sat up at attention – a tingling around his chest and deep down in his soul.

Alec tilted his head almost without realizing it so that he could look down at his own chest. The sight of the bright red mark there should’ve been a shock. And yet, Alec felt like he remembered that. The sharp, burning pain of Gabriel’s hand on his chest, the bright light made of white and gold that had encompassed everything around Alec. It’d chased away the pain, _everything_ , until it was all he’d been able to see. That light had wrapped around him, and Alec had felt peace. He’d felt _safe_.

The bits and pieces were all coming together in front of him to paint a picture that left Alec feeling slightly breathless. He lifted his eyes from his chest and up to the person standing there near the foot of the bed watching him with eyes older than the earth itself, and full of a kind of pain no amount of masks could fully hide.

One corner of Gabriel’s mouth quirked up. “Hey, kiddo.”

“ _Fuck_.” The uncharacteristic curse slipped past Alec’s lips. Yet he couldn’t quite seem to come up with anything else to say. This was… _he_ was…

That wry look Gabriel wore grew a little more. “Yeah. We should probably talk.”

Alec held his gaze and nodded. “Yes, I think we should.”

They all knew that talking meant more than just the three of them. It meant letting in Alec’s siblings, who practically spilled over one another to rush into the room the minute Magnus pulled down the private bedroom wards. He didn’t even have to pull open the door – apparently they’d just been continuously trying to push it open, so the instant the wards were gone they shoved the door open and rushed in.

Jace reached the bed first, though it was a close thing. He was fast, though, and he shot around everyone without a care for who else was in the room, whereas Isabelle faltered just a bit at the sight of Gabriel.

In what felt like a blink Jace landed on the bed on Alec’s side, opposite Magnus. “Alec!”

“I’m all right,” Alec said immediately. He let Jace pull him into a hug, wincing only slightly, and shot a look at Isabelle over his parabatai’s shoulder. Alec lifted one hand her way, and she caught it gratefully, clinging tight while she sank down onto the bed. He even offered a small smile to Clary, who looked just as relieved as Isabelle did. “I’m okay, guys.”

“Well, okay-ish,” Gabriel chimed in, showing the same lack of care for when it was appropriate or not to speak as he always had. He rocked up on his toes and then back down to his heels. Then, with a snap, he had a sucker in his hand that he popped into his mouth. “Still got a few things that’re healing there, handsome. So maybe try and keep from jostling around too much. Or not. Whatever suits you.”

The eyebrow waggle that went with that had Alec wanting to groan.

Hearing Gabriel’s voice seemed to work as a reminder for the others that he was there. Judging by the way they reacted, Alec felt it was pretty safe to say they’d all seen whatever had happened back there in that little room. Alec hadn’t been sure. He could remember Gabriel being there, and Magnus, but not anyone else. Not beyond his captors, that was.

A small shiver ran down Alec’s spine. In response, Magnus leaned in a little closer, and Isabelle’s hold on his hand tightened. That strange place inside of Alec that was close to his parabatai bond, only _deeper_ , gave a warm little pulse that was immediately comforting.

Jace straightened up a little more. While he could be gentle and comforting, especially when it came to those he loved, he wasn’t the type to show it if he felt there was a threat in the room. He’d always sort of treated Gabriel as a threat anyway. For Jace, sharing Alec with a partner was one thing. That was just normal. But sharing him with someone who Alec had started out butting heads with and then became close friends with? It set Jace on edge deep down in all those places where Alec knew his abandonment issues still lived.

If Alec let him get started there was every chance Jace was going to pick a fight with Gabriel. Or he’d end up saying something that – if Alec was right about who Gabriel really was – might get his parabatai in more trouble than he could handle.

To preempt any of that, Alec spoke up first, brushing right past the innuendo in Gabriel’s last words and going for the only ones he could say. The most important ones. “Thank you, for what you did back there,” Alec said honestly. “I don’t remember it all clearly, but I know I’d be dead right now if it wasn’t for you.”

Surprise flashed in Gabriel’s eyes. Then he blinked, and that was gone behind a mask Alec had a feeling he only recognized because he’d seen Magnus wear a similar one countless times. “You really do have some shit luck, don’t you?” Gabriel said dryly. He rolled his eyes heavenward. “Dad knows what I did to surround myself with troublemakers like you. Do you even realize how many assassination attempts I’ve already had to stop for you?”

The whole room went quiet at that. Jace and Magnus both froze, and the sound Isabelle made was low and pained while still somehow furious at the same time. Alec was pretty sure he even heard Clary gasp.

As for Alec, the words didn’t really come as a surprise. “I imagine the number’s pretty high.”

Gabriel’s eyebrows shot up and then went back down, his eyes narrowing on Alec. The sucker came out of his mouth to point right at Alec accusingly. “See, this is what I mean. You’re not even surprised, are you?”

“Of course I’m not,” Alec said, snorting as he did. He ignored the looks from the other and met Gabriel’s eyes calmly. “I’m the Head of what’s being touted as the most progressive Institute. On top of that, I’m dating one of the most popular and powerful warlocks out there, something which pisses off quite a few Downworlders who think I’m way too beneath Magnus to be even worth his notice. I’m also fighting to bring equality to groups of people who loathe one another beyond all common reason. One side of which believes I’m pushing too hard, too fast, while the other side thinks I’m not pushing fast enough. I’d be more surprised if I _didn’t_ get death threats.”

Magnus’ hand clenched down on Alec’s. When Alec looked over at him, his glamour was down and his eyes slightly darker than normal. “You and I are going to have a separate, much longer conversation about those threats and attempts, and why I didn’t know about them until just now.”

A wince crossed Alec’s features. Yeah. He’d known that was coming for a while now. It wasn’t going to be a fun conversation, but it was high time they finally had it.

“I think we’ll all want to have that conversation,” Isabelle said firmly.

While Alec knew that he owed that conversation to Magnus, he very much wasn’t going to let the others think that he owed it to them. Whether they liked that or not. “The last I checked, I’m not just your big brother,” Alec said, turning to look at the three on his right. “I’m also the Head of your Institute, an Archbishop, and your commanding officer. None of which requires me to report anything to you.”

It was something Alec had always known they were going to butt heads about. Neither Jace nor Isabelle had ever seemed to realize what it meant for Alec to be in charge. Hell, some days they were still working on following his commands for simple things. He’d never been able to figure out how to get them to understand everything else.

Intellectually, they likely knew the responsibilities that came with Alec’s titles and ranks, but he wasn’t sure they’d ever _understood_ them.

Jace only proved that when his hurt echoed down the bond. “So, what, being in charge means you don’t have to tell your family, your _parabatai_ , when someone’s trying to kill you?”

Though it hurt, Alec met his gaze and didn’t back down the way he’d done far too many times in the past. “No.”

The hurt in their bond grew even stronger. Alec felt Jace pull away and he hated it. Hated that this had to happen here where they couldn’t take the time to talk about it properly.

“I didn’t think it had to _be_ said, Jace,” Alec told him, twisting a little so that he could better look at him. It hurt, but that was fine. He could deal with that. Right at the moment, he needed to make Jace _understand_. Or, at least, _try_ to. “Threats like this, they’re part of my daily life. Every Head I’ve trained under, Mom and Dad included, made sure I understood that being the Head of an Institute meant dealing with these kinds of threats. Our current political climate only makes that worse. I follow protocol and take every precaution I can. There was no reason for me to tell you.”

The words clearly weren’t what Jace was expecting to hear. Or the others. Isabelle had her lips pressed together in a sharp line that he knew hid what she was really feeling.

“Sometimes I don’t think I’ll ever understand shadowhunter culture,” Clary said, shaking her head. She looked like she wanted to reach to him, offer some sort of condolences, and Alec didn’t quite understand why.

From his other side, Magnus snorted. “This isn’t something we can blame on shadowhunter culture, biscuit. It’s the unfortunate position of someone in power.”

“He’s not wrong,” Gabriel agreed, shrugging one shoulder lazily. “But also not the reason we’re here. Cute as this is, how about you all have your domestic a different time, hm? I’d like to get the rest of this out of the way. I’ve got places to be.”

Gabriel’s words brought the focus back to where it should be. Alec straightened up in response, and his eyes snapped back to the being he was pretty sure was an archangel who was still standing at the foot of the bed – and Alec was very much _not_ going to think about the oddity of _that_ thought. Gabriel was right, however. They needed to hash this out. Then Alec could deal with the whole _I’ve got places to be_ comment.

“What happened to the warlocks and vampires that had me?” Alec asked him. It was the first question he had, and one of the most important. Gabriel’s response to it was going to dictate Alec’s response to everything else.

A flare of something bright lit up the backs of Gabriel’s eyes. “They’re alive, if that’s what you’re worried about. I’ve got them in the Institute cells and Underhill’s keeping an eye on them for me. He doesn’t know how I got them in there, but he knows they’re the ones responsible for kidnapping you.”

Okay, that was good. Alec could handle that. Andrew could be professional about things even if he didn’t necessarily want to be. It was part of the reason he was in charge of security. (Alec very much was not going to think about the long talk he was going to have with Andrew after all this – the man had been pushing for Alec to have security guards when he went places, and this wasn’t going to help Alec’s refusal)

He was already mentally planning the conversation he needed to have with Lorenzo and Raphael, respectively. What these people had done, it wasn’t something that could be ignored. They’d broken the Accords. Their leaders needed to be informed, and Alec was going to have to carefully navigate his response. He couldn’t rightfully claim the full right to punish the ones responsible for this – not when the Clave had denied Downworlders the right to punish the Circle members responsible for hurting them.

Alec was trying to create equality. That only happened if he was willing to back up his words and actually treat everyone equally.

When Alec blinked his eyes clear, he found Gabriel watching him closely, and Magnus’ hand had tightened on his. For the moment Alec ignored that. He could deal with the comfort part of things once he got done dealing with business – another part of being a leader that not everyone was able to understand.

“Did you happen to find out what they wanted?” Jace asked, glaring at Gabriel while simultaneously leaning back from him, like he wasn’t quite sure yet what to make of him. Or how he should react.

It was hard for Alec not to outwardly react. The group who’d had him hadn’t exactly shied away from letting him know what they were doing with him and why they’d had him strung up. They’d made sure that Alec understood what exactly they were going to do with him and his blood.

If Alec had thought Gabriel looked deadly before, it was nothing compared to the dagger-sharp flash of power in his eyes now. “They weren’t too happy with the way things are going lately, so they figured they’d do some pretty dark magic and use your blood to take out the whole of the New York Institute. The torture was just for fun.”

“Is that even possible?” Isabelle demanded shakily.

Magnus’ hand trembled where he pressed it against Alec’s skin. When Alec looked over, his boyfriend was paler than he’d ever seen, and there was the crackle of orange magic in his unglamoured eyes that was just as dangerous as the light that was in Gabriel’s. Yet his voice carried a note of calm that Alec wondered if anyone else realized was fake.

“In theory, yes,” Magnus answered her. “Everyone at the Institute is connected to Alexander. Not by blood, but by other ties. With the right kind of magic, it’s possible to create a spell that can attack one and use them as a conduit to take out the others. Though how on earth you managed to survive that…” Magnus cut off with a shudder at what might’ve been.

Multiple sets of eyes turned Alec’s way. He fought not to shift under those looks. His memories of things town the end weren’t the best, and it was hard for him not to shiver as they tried to creep forward. Alec knew he now had new fodder for his nightmares for the next while.

He was saved from having to say anything by Gabriel. “Yeah, well, willpower can make a big difference in these kinds of things, and if there’s one thing Alec has in spades, it’s _willpower._ Or, you know, stubbornness. Whatever you wanna call it.” Pausing, Gabriel shrugged, so painfully nonchalant it only made it all the clearer how forced it was. “Though honestly, a minute or two longer and even your willpower would’ve given out. My brother was there, the way he always is when one of your kind goes. I don’t think he liked me insisting he back the hell off.”

Alec felt the faint stirring of a memory in all that light. Something warm holding him, and a voice, Gabriel’s voice, shouting. _“Like hell if I’m letting you have him, you sanctimonious little prick. He’s not yours!”_

That last little bit of Gabriel’s words brought them around to the topic that they’d all been avoiding. The rest of it needed to be dealt with, of course, and Alec knew this wasn’t the last time he’d deal with it today. Whether the others liked it or not, he was going to have to deal with it more here soon. Phone calls had to be made, reports written, a statement taken from all of them, and then all of it submitted to the Clave in triplicate. Alec was going to be lucky to get a few hours to rest and try to fix things with his family and his boyfriend.

But the others, for all that they might’ve been avoiding it before, they practically leapt at the topic now. Jace tensed at Alec’s side, and he straightened up a little in a way that drew them that much further apart. Though he did still keep their legs pressed together, at least. A sign he wasn’t _too_ mad.

“Why don’t we talk about _that_?” Jace suggested sharply. Then he shot a frosty look Alec’s way that cut deep and made it clear that, while he wasn’t _too_ mad, he was still pretty pissed off. His next words only confirmed that. “Unless that’s suddenly not our business, either.”

A furious sound came from Magnus. He pressed in closer to Alec, mindful of his injuries, and he leveled a glare Jace’s way. “Might I remind you that you’re in my bedroom, in my home. You’ll mind your tone here.”

“Or I’ll help you mind it,” Gabriel added on. The way he said it made it clear he’d be perfectly happy to do so.

Unfortunately, neither of them understood Jace the way that Alec did. They didn’t know that there was more hurt than anger in his parabatai right now. Anger was just the way Jace dealt with the things that hurt him. It was how he’d always kept himself safe. Anger, flippant remarks, and brushing things off before quickly retreating with a smile so that no one could see how much he was actually hurt.

Alec knew him well. Even without their bond, he knew the man he called brother. Better than anyone. Which was why Alec didn’t let his hurt at Jace’s tone show. He knew the defense for what it was.

To protect Jace, Alec did what he’d done countless times. He put himself forward between his parabatai and everyone else and drew the attention to himself. Good or bad, better he take it at the moment than Jace.

Not that it was going to stay on him for long. Alec locked eyes with Gabriel once more and sat up a little straighter. It was time to address the rather large elephant in the room. “You’re Gabriel.”

The change in topic didn’t seem to throw him. Gabriel nodded at him. He didn’t even try and make any teasing remarks. He just gave a simple, “Yes.”

“ _The_ Gabriel. Archangel of Heaven.”

“Yes.”

The part of Alec that had been raised up to revere the angels felt like it was frozen in a constant loop of _holy shit_ that he would’ve been mortally embarrassed if it’d managed to make it past his lips. That part of him was internally screaming at the idea that he was sitting here in front of an actual angel – an _archangel_. One who it was said had once destroyed the first beings like them. The natural-born nephil that were no longer allowed – who had let their power take them over, who hadn’t been able to control the angelic energy inside of them with runes the way shadowhunters were. Because of that, the power had almost destroyed them, and the planet with them.

The only thing that had stopped them was the Archangel of Justice. The one sent to do God’s will here on earth. The very same being who was standing _here_ in Alec and Magnus’ bedroom, eating a sucker. The very same man that Alec had eaten dinner here with, sparred with, commanded on patrols, scolded for his mistakes. Who enjoyed fruity cocktails and dancing in Pandemonium. The same one who knew the lyrics to every single Disney song and enjoyed the hell out of belting them out on top of the coffee table when drunk – or, apparently, _pretending_ to be drunk. Could an angel even get drunk?

While the one part of Alec panicked internally over all of that, the other part of Alec, the part that had been molded and shaped into someone who didn’t have time for emotions, someone cold and clear-headed, only had one question.

“Why?”

To his credit, Gabriel didn’t play dumb. Though his answer wasn’t exactly what any of them had likely been looking for.

“I needed a place to lie low for a while.” At the looks he got, Gabriel shrugged. “What? If you were expecting some sort of big, important plot, I hate to break it to you but there’s nothing.” He shrugged one shoulder and tucked his sucker into his cheek. The perfect look of casual, I-don’t-care. “I mean, I can make up something if you want. Give me a few minutes and I’m sure I can come up with something good. But really, I just wanted somewhere to lie low. Somewhere no one would look for me.”

There was the air of truth to those words. Yet Alec had a feeling that wasn’t all there was to it.

Isabelle spoke up before Alec could ask his next question. “Does that mean you’re going to leave now that we know who you are?”

It was a good question. One Alec hadn’t thought of yet, but now that Isabelle had asked it he stared intently at Gabriel, waiting for some kind of answer. Only, Gabriel said nothing. He just stood there and looked at them all with that same hooded look. The one that told Alec so much more was going on underneath the surface. His silence and that look were honestly answer enough.

They were also something Alec sure as hell wasn’t going to let stand.

With a gentle squeeze to Magnus’ hand, Alec calmly asked his family, “Would you guys excuse us for a minute?”

It was clear by the protests of the others that they didn’t understand. Jace and Isabelle both had immediate vocal protests, and even Clary looked surprised. But Magnus shared a look with Alec, and in that look, in that moment, the two shared one of those conversations that can only happen when two people know one another well. No one had ever understood Alec as well as his boyfriend did. Jace and Alec were close, closer than anyone, but their silent conversations and such often pertained to the battlefield. Magnus? Magnus understood all of Alec. Including parts Alec had never felt safe showing anyone else.

Magnus leaned in and pressed a soft kiss against Alec’s lips. “Don’t push yourself, _sayang_ ,” he murmured softly. Then he leaned in until their foreheads touched, and he smiled against Alec’s lips. “And don’t let him run.”

Alec’s answering smile was just as soft. “I won’t.”

After that, it was just a matter of sitting back and allowing his boyfriend to shepherd everyone else out of there.

No one was happy about it. Alec watched them go, reading the worry and anger and hurt that neither of his siblings could quite keep under control, and he had to try not to wince. That wasn’t going to be a fun conversation later.

The door shut, leaving the bedroom in a tense silence that Alec hated.

He wasn’t surprised when Gabriel was the one to break it.

“I don’t think they’re very happy with you.”

Alec smothered down a soft sigh. Anymore, it felt like they rarely were. “I know.” A small part of him wished he could still try and blame them and their attitude on Clary the way he had back at the start. But, honestly, it wasn’t Clary’s fault. She’d just been the feather that broke the angel’s back. The final thing on top of a mountain of other things that had been piling on Alec for years and years. Having her burst into his life had been one thing too many at a time he’d barely been coping.

No, this wasn’t Clary’s fault, and honestly, it wasn’t his. But they wouldn’t see it that way. To them, this was just going to be their big brother getting high-handed again. They didn’t see it from the point of view of a leader.

That was just another problem in a long list of them that could be dealt with later, though. Right at the moment Alec had far more important thangs to deal with. Such as the archangel clearly ready to run in front of him.

“You never answered Isabelle’s question,” Alec said calmly. Now that no one was leaning against him or holding his hand, he had to settle for folding his hands in his lap in an effort to keep them from twitching and showing off his nerves.

Gabriel snorted and rolled his eyes. “Because we both know the answer to that one, kiddo. Don’t try and play dumb. It doesn’t suit you.”

“It doesn’t suit you either,” Alec fired right back.

Though Alec knew Magnus wouldn’t be happy about this, there was no way Alec could have this conversation while lying there in bed. Not if he wanted to project the kind of strength he was going to need for this. With that in mind, Alec pushed himself up in bed, ignoring the way that Gabriel grimaced at that, how his hands twitched like he wanted to help and was holding himself back from it. Alec was far too practiced at ignoring anything like that. As well as putting on a stronger face than what he felt.

He was exhausted, hurting, and more than anything he wanted to call Magnus in and curl up with him for about a week, but Alec had been raised on the words _life is not about what you want to do, it is about what must be done_ , and right then there was something far more important than his own pain.

It took a moment for Alec to get his far-too-shaky legs to slide off the bed and support him. His body ached, and bandages tugged at him, yet he ignored it all to stand proud and tall in front of Gabriel. Alec fixed him with his best _you don’t scare me_ look. One he’d worn when facing the Clave countless times. “No one said we wanted you gone. In fact, I’m pretty sure Izzy was trying to make the opposite clear.”

Though part of Gabriel still looked like he was trying his hardest not to reach out for Alec, the rest of him was clearly already retreating. Gabriel pulled himself behind a mask of anger, sneering at Alec. “Yeah, well, excuse me for not wanting to stick around and become some special toy you pull out when things go bad. I’ve played that game before, kiddo. I’ve fought the stupid fight when I shouldn’t, and it practically got me killed. More than once. I won’t stick around and be some weapon for you to use in your little demon fights.”

“Of course you will.”

Alec's calm words broke the mask over Gabriel’s features. Shock landed first, followed quickly by the type of fury that would’ve had lesser men quaking. Grace-light flashed in the backs of Gabriel’s eyes. “You better watch yourself, Lightwood. I’m not one of your precious little shadowhunters for you to order around.”

The threat from Gabriel was practically radiating into the room around him. Alec lifted his chin and didn’t let himself cow under it. “Yes, you are,” he said firmly in his best _Head of the Institute_ voice. “You may have been pretending to be one of the nephilim, but the fact of the matter is you came to _my_ Institute. You became one of my people the minute I signed the okay on the transfer paperwork. I swore an oath to the angel to protect you the same way I protect ever other member of my Institute.”

“I highly doubt my brother’s gonna hold you to that, kiddo…” Gabriel tried to interject, and the anger on his face had slowly begun to fade, replaced by confusion. But Alec cut him off before he could get any further.

“I don’t care if he does or not.” Alec pushed himself to stand up straighter, to not just _sound_ like the Head but to _be one_ the way he’d been raised to be. Even if it was against an archangel who could destroy him with a thought. “I don’t need Raziel to hold me to my oaths. _I_ hold me to them. You’re one of mine, Gabriel, and you and I both know what that kind of service means. Others might think they understand it, but they don’t. Not the way we do. I’ll use you the same way I’d use any other shadowhunter.” Here, Alec softened just a bit. “But it also means I’ll look out for you. You’re _mine_. And no one gets to take you away until I’m damn good and ready to let you go.”

Watching the play of emotion over Gabriel’s face was painful. It reminded Alec of the way that Magnus would look at him sometimes. Like he couldn’t quite believe what was coming out of Alec's mouth. That looked had happened a lot in the early days of their relationship. The first time Alec told Magnus he loved him, when he told him his eyes were beautiful, when he picked Magnus in front of people over and over again. When he stood up for him against others – not just to the Clave or other shadowhunters, but against other warlocks, against _anyone_.

It was a look that said clearer than words that no one had ever done that for him before.

Seeing it on Gabriel hurt just as much as it did each time Alec had to see it on Magnus. How was it that these two immortal beings had gone through lives as long as theirs and never managed to find someone who treated them the way they deserved?

Alec looked at Gabriel and felt the same urge he felt around Magnus time and time again – to just wrap him up and keep him safe until the shadows were gone from his eyes. To show him that someone gave a damn about _him_ even if everyone else had been too stupid to do the same.

Gabriel’s lips parted and his eyes went wide. “Alec.” The way he said Alec's name held an edge of something to it that was like a prayer. It was the same way Magnus whispered his name in the dark of their bed. Usually before he spent the next little while laying Alec out and worshipping every single inch of him.

The sound that came from Gabriel next was sort of strangled.

When Alec took a step forward, worry building a furrow in his brow, Gabriel took a step back. He also tilted his head so that his eyes were staring up at the ceiling. “So, before we continue this conversation, I feel kind of like it might be a good idea for me to point out that being an archangel means I have some pretty awesome powers. Like the ability to hear what humans are thinking, whether I want to or not.”

The world felt like it stopped moving. Alec held perfectly still. Any of the confidence he’d been feeling before seemed to vanish in an instant. “W-What?”

Gabriel’s eyes darted down and away, like he couldn’t quite bring himself to look at Alec yet still needed to check, to _see._ But whatever he’d seen there had his gaze snapping back down. “Yeah. For the most part I can dull it down a little. You usually have some pretty good mental walls that makes it a bit easier. Sparkles does, too. But I’m guessing pain’s kind of brought those down a bit.”

Alec didn’t have it in him to try and figure out the expressions on Gabriel’s face. Nor had he really processed anything about the whole _mental walls_ bit. His mind was stuck on the fact that Gabriel could _read his mind_. What… what had he picked up on? What kind of things had he heard?

“Alec.” Gabriel’s voice was sharp, suddenly, and right there in front of him. At the same time the place deep inside of Alec grew a little warmer. “ _Breathe_.”

Those two things were enough to snap Alec back into himself. He blinked his eyes, only just realizing that somehow he’d ended up sitting on the end of the bed, and Gabriel was right there in front of him, his hands on Alec’s shoulders to keep him steady.

When Alec looked up, Gabriel caught his gaze and held it. For a moment there was no mask there. No anger. Just the same calm steadiness that had made Gabriel one of Alec’s closest confidants in such a short time.

That steadiness wavered a little, and Alec watched as Gabriel’s eyebrows went up and his lips parted just a bit. His hands briefly clenched down on Alec’s shoulders. “You…” The archangel paused and then shook his head. The look he gave Alec now was almost wondering. “You are one of the most ridiculous humans I’ve ever met. How the hell is it that the only thing I’m hearing in your brain right now is worry over what _I_ might think of the things I’ve heard instead of, oh, I don’t know – being pissed I’m hearing things at all?”

Alec couldn’t quite seem to get his lips to work enough to answer that. Or his voice, really. He was too caught up in the horror of it all. Because Alec _knew_ the kinds of thoughts he’d had about the man in front of him. Thoughts, fantasies, little things whispered between lips in breathy moans under the flickering candlelight of this very room, while body pressed to body, and they whispered fantasies, lusts, things of the like that never seemed quite so hard to say in moments like those.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Gabriel breathed out shakily. His hands tightened a little more on Alec’s shoulders. “Okay, yeah, I’m gonna need you to stop right there, kiddo.” He must’ve felt Alec’s panic increase because he hurried to add “I’m not mad! But there’s a fine line between fantasy and reality. You keep thinking about your fantasies like that and I’m gonna end up making at least part of them a reality, and I get the feeling that’s the last thing either one of us want.”

To the surprise of them both it wasn’t Alec who answered that – it was _Magnus._ “Oh, I don’t know about that.”

The two at the bed looked over to find Magnus leaning in the doorway, arms crossed over his chest, one leg crossed over the other and the tip of that boot pressed into the ground. He looked casually sexy in a way that normally made Alec’s mouth water.

How long he’d been there, Alec had no idea. He was quiet and stealthy. The fact that _Gabriel_ hadn’t seemed to notice him until just now was a bit surprising, though.

Magnus grinned a little. It grew when Gabriel actually jerked back from Alec like he’d been burnt. He took a full two steps back, and Magnus chuckled.

For a second Magnus ignored Gabriel and instead focused on Alec. “I thought I told you not to push yourself, darling.”

With one shoulder, Magnus pushed away from the door and walked right up to Alec, his eyes sweeping over him like he was checking to make sure Alec hadn’t hurt himself more in the time he’d been gone.

“Come on, let’s get you back in bed. The last thing your body needs right now is to be pushed more than it already was.” The expression on Magnus’ face gentled into the familiar one of warmth and love. He reached out once he was close and curled his hand over the side of Alec’s neck – the spot that Alec often thought of as _his_. “You’ve barely been home. I sent your siblings off to their beds, with the promise they could come back tomorrow. Now, you need _rest_.”

“He’s not wrong,” Gabriel said. “You should get back in that bed, and I’ll just…”

Magnus cut him off. “Help me get him into bed? Good.”

Seeing the slightly gobsmacked look on Gabriel’s face was enough to break through a bit of the ice Alec was feeling. As was the steadiness of his boyfriend’s warm hand against his skin. Magnus looked down at Alec, and he winked, just out of sight of Gabriel.

A second later, Gabriel seemed to recover. He shot a dry look Magnus’ way, but he also lifted a hand and _snapped_.

Magic, _angelic_ magic, washed over Alec. In a blink he found himself sitting in bed once more with his body propped up against a mound of pillows and the blankets pulled up over his lap.

Magnus didn’t miss a beat. He straightened up from where he’d been standing and he gave a nod to Alec, like that was exactly what he’d wanted to happen and he was happy with the outcome. Which was likely the truth. Then Alec watched as Magnus drew himself up with a fortifying breath like he was preparing to go into battle. Only, it wasn’t a demon hoard he was facing, or the Clave, or even the Warlock Council. This was Gabriel – someone who had been their friend for months now, and the topic of _other_ conversations for the past few weeks.

“Magnus…” Gabriel said slowly, his voice full of warning. The fact that he used Magnus’ actual name was a sign of just how serious he was.

Only, he didn’t get a chance to say more. Magnus held up a hand, and surprisingly, Gabriel fell silent. Once he did, Magnus lowered his hand again, and he took another deep breath. “Being blunt is usually Alexander’s area of expertise, but I have a feeling you wouldn’t pick up on anything even remotely subtle at the moment. So, none of our usual word games, no matter how talented you are at them.”

If Alec hadn’t been looking, he might’ve missed the minute flinch that Gabriel gave. As it was, it was something Alec logged away for later. Another little piece of the puzzle.

Magnus hooked his hands into his pockets and he rocked back a little in that way of his that showed just how nervous he was to those that knew how to watch. None of those nerves showed in his voice. His voice held steady and firm, with a note of strength that Alec admired. “Let me make it clear first that we’re not angry with you,” was the first thing Magnus said. “Who you were before you came to us, that’s your story to tell. Whenever you want, or never. The choice is yours.”

Alec nodded his agreement when Gabriel’s eyes darted to his.

“I understand what it means to live a different life.” Magnus’ voice brought Gabriel’s attention back over to him.

The two faced off, and Alec almost felt like an outsider in that moment. Because though he could academically understand what Magnus was saying, he didn’t have the _emotional_ understanding. Not for something like this. All he could do was sit silently and listen.

“I’ve lived many lives before this one. But I had one before all that – a life, and a name, that were given to me. I chose to leave those behind when I took the name Magnus, and I made myself into who I am now.” Magnus took a slow step forward. Such a small one that Alec wasn’t sure Gabriel even saw it. Their eyes never broke contact. “Who you were before you came to us isn’t anywhere near as important to Alexander and I as who you are _now_. That’s what we care about, darling.”

Gabriel visibly swallowed down the emotion in his throat. “Being an archangel is a bit different than shedding your old human name. That’s a hell of a lot more to keep from someone.”

It was Alec who answered this time. “Maybe on a bigger scale, true, but it’s still the same theory as anyone in the Shadow World has when dealing with a mundane.”

Magnus grinned at Alec and gestured toward him as if to emphasize his point. “He’s not wrong. I’ve hidden who I am from mundanes before. Even enough to date them. I protected them from who I was, and everything that came with it, and sometimes gave myself a bit of a break as well. Why would I begrudge you the same thing?”

Their words clearly weren’t what Gabriel was expecting. That was something Alec could relate to. Unlike Alec, who would take those reactions and internally panic, Gabriel lashed out. “So you’re telling me it doesn’t bother you at all? You don’t give a shit I’m an archangel?” Gabriel probably meant those words to sound harder than they did. There was a slight crack that could be heard at the edges, though. A hint of something more underneath that he didn’t want them to hear.

The look on Magnus’ face softened once more. He took another, more visible step forward, and Alec watched as Gabriel leaned back, not quite retreating but not staying, either. “It doesn’t bother us.”

“Bullshit,” Gabriel spat out.

“I heard you say you can read minds. Read mine and tell me if I’m lying.”

Gabriel twitched, _hard_ , and that place inside of Alec where they were connected gave an equally hard twitch. One that left Alec feeling a bit nauseous. It was clear that Gabriel hadn’t expected anything like that.

Would the people in Alec’s life ever stop breaking his heart? It seemed his fate to fall for people who had absolutely no idea of their worth. Who seemed to expect the worst from everyone. Likely because that was what the world had always shown them. They’d never had anyone who’d shown them how special they were, how important. Which, he supposed, made them perfect for him. Alec was fierce in his love for the important people in his life. Too much so, he’d been told more than once.

For all that Magnus joked that ‘too much’ was his middle name, it was a term that had been applied to Alec quite a few times. His love was always too much while somehow simultaneously being not enough.

Except for Magnus.

Magnus accepted him – every broken, _too much, not enough_ , tattered piece of him. The warlock loved him with everything he had, and he took every bit of love Alec was willing to give him.

He would do the same for Gabriel if the archangel would let him. Both of them would.

A strangled sound tore its way from Gabriel’s throat.

Magnus took another step forward, and this time Gabriel didn’t retreat, didn’t pull away. He just stood there and tilted his head to look right up at Magnus’ face. Alec watched it all from his spot on the bed. He stayed there and watched as Magnus reached up and oh-so-gently brushed the back of his hand against Gabriel’s cheek. “We care about _you_ , Gabriel. _You_. Not the archangel.”

The words had Gabriel shaking his head like he couldn’t quite stop himself from denying them. “You can’t.”

“We do,” Magnus said simply.

“Fine – you _shouldn’t_ ,” Gabriel corrected himself sharply. “I’m not a good person. No matter what you guys think, I’m not. I may be an archangel, but I’m one who ran away from home and hid out with the pagans for a while. I stood up once and practically died from it, and ended up in another dimension to hide from it all. I’ve bathed in enough blood to drown cities, and I _enjoyed_ it.”

If he thought that was going to chase them away, he was wrong. A low, slightly bitter laugh tumbled from Magnus. “You think I haven’t? I’ve given in to that darkness inside in the past. I’ve been responsible for so much death and pain.” Pain flashed over his face and his eyes were glamour free and dark with the kinds of memories that occasionally set him screaming in the middle of the night. “I’ve walked the sands of Edom and had her recognize me as her prince. Yet somehow…”

Here, Magnus paused, and his eyes went over to Alec. It took everything Alec had not to get up and walk over there to him. He wanted to touch Magnus, chase those shadows away, and remind him all over again how wonderful and amazing Alec found him.

Magnus’ expression melted into something so much softer, and full of wonder. His lips curved up into a smile, and his eyes crinkled at the corners. “Somehow I still managed to find myself someone who loves me anyway. Who accepts those dark parts of me and loves me in spite of them.”

There was no way Alec could keep quiet at that. “I love every part of you, the good and the bad.”

Magnus’ eyes lit with that familiar light. The one Alec loved to put there. “As I do you, _sayang_.”

“Sweet as that is,” Gabriel said, clearly aiming for sarcastic and missing it by a mile. “That’s not typically how the rest of the world works. Especially not for someone like me.”

“It could. We could, if you let us,” Alec said softly.

Those words appeared to finally hit _too much_ for Gabriel. A tremble ran down the archangel. At the same time, Alec felt a flare of this connection, a twinge that he recognized. It was one he’d felt in his parabatai plenty of times. While Alec was the type to stand up and take something, take anything that was thrown his way, he knew that wasn’t how everyone reacted. Jace was good at retreating without making it seem like that was what he was doing.

Gabriel, it seemed, had the same urge to run, only he didn’t try and pretend he was doing something else. He gave them one last, aching look, and then in a rustle of feathers, he was gone.

The bedroom fell quiet for a long moment. Alec closed his eyes and felt an ache throb inside his chest. One that didn’t have any real source of injury. He wanted to reach up, to press his hand against it, but now that Gabriel wasn’t here it suddenly seemed harder to keep up the act. To sit there and not acknowledge the burning, aching that was spreading through every inch of him and trembling in his muscles.

Gentle, warm hands cupped Alec’s cheeks. He leaned into the touch with a soft sigh.

“Come on,” Magnus said softly, the words whispered n a soft kiss against Alec’s forehead. He nuzzled in there for a second and then drew back, though he kept his hands on Alec. “Let’s get you lying down.”

That sounded heavenly for his body. But for the rest of him… Alec’s mind blanked on it for a moment as he moved. Even with Magnus’ magic to help lift and cushion him, the injuries that Alec had been ignoring were clearly making themselves known now, and they _ached_.

A snap had Alec opening up his eyes. Magnus was seated on the bed right next to his side, and he had a potion in one hand. His other had come around to cradle the back of Alec’s head and gently lift it up. “Drink this, darling. It’ll help take the edge off.”

It was a sign of just how much Alec trusted him that he didn’t protest or try and insist that he could do this. He just let Magnus prop his head up and feed him the drink.

Seconds later, once Alec’s head was laid back down, he felt the pull of the potion. It swept through him and helped to dull some of that ache, yes, but it also was dragging him down. He did his best to glare at Magnus through eyes that suddenly felt heavy.

Magnus didn’t show an ounce of shame. “You need to rest, Alexander. It’s the best thing for your body right now.” Another snap of his fingers and a wave of his hand had Magnus stripped from his clothes. He carefully climbed into bed at Alec’s side and settled down next to him, pulling the blankets up over them both. There, a comforting weight right against Alec, he curled in close so that he was a little more propped up on the pillows than Alec was. It let him cup Alec’s face while also being close enough to bend in and press a kiss against the top of his head. “Go to sleep. I’ll be here when you wake.”

What else could Alec do? The potion was already dragging him down toward sleep. The only thing he could do was sink down into it.


	4. Chapter 4

Watching Alec sleep was something that was a little more comforting than one would expect. Maybe that was a bit creepy – Magnus was ready to admit that it probably was. But after the fear of having him missing, and of seeing him lying there so pale and broken, being able to lay here now with him and watch him sleep, feel the rise and fall of his chest, was a balm on Magnus’ soul. One he needed.

It was hard to ignore the realizations that were sitting so heavily in his chest. They’d come so close to losing Alec this time.

He traced the edges of the handprint on Alec’s chest and said a soft, silent prayer for the one who’d saved them. If it hadn’t been for Gabriel there was every chance that they would’ve lost Alec. And, in doing so, lost so many others.

A shudder ran through Magnus’ magic. He had to clench down tight on it in response. That shudder wasn’t just fear – it was also anger. Anger at the ones who’d dared try and take his angel from him. Who’d almost succeeded in killing Magnus’ love, his _family_ , and a whole Institute of shadowhunters who were so much better than those that came before. Shadowhunters who actually gave a damn about Downworlders.

Just thinking about that was hard enough. Thinking beyond that, to the ramifications of what might’ve happened if they’d succeeded, was even harder, and even more horrifying. Not just because it would be a world where Magnus would have to exist without Alec, but because of what would happen between them all if these warlocks and vampires had managed to destroy so many shadowhunters. The retribution from the Clave would be terrifying.

The part of Magnus that was Alec’s boyfriend thought of the horror of losing the one he loved in such a violent way. But the part of him that was a leader, even if the title was no longer his, couldn’t help but think of the implications of this. Even the _knowledge_ of what they’d _tried_ to do was going to stir up some serious trouble.

This wasn’t something they could hide. However, what was going to come of it was something Magnus shuddered to think about. This could set back all of Alec’s efforts toward equality in one fell swoop. In trying to fight against the race responsible for their persecution, their subjugation, they’d ended up trying to take down one of the people fighting for their rights, and likely set back those efforts if not outright destroyed some of them.

They were only slightly saved by the fact that they hadn’t succeeded. And the only reason they hadn’t was because of Gabriel.

Just the thought of Gabriel was enough to have Magnus sighing and leaning his head in a little closer. He let himself hide a bit in Alec’s hair for a few minutes. Thinking about Gabriel was almost as complicated as thinking about Alec right now. Both were pleasant but they were also both minefields at the moment. Ones that Magnus wasn’t sure he’d had enough sleep to be able to navigate.

Magnus sighed and closed his eyes, only to open them again a moment later. Too many images waited behind closed eyes. He could still remember how Alec had looked hanging there in chains and magic. How much blood had covered his skin. Gabriel’s healing had taken some of that damage away, obviously, but what Magnus and Isabelle had bandaged up last night had been bad enough.

There were countless bruises on Alec’s pale skin that only seemed to stand out more this afternoon. A cut on his left temple was held together by butterfly tape, and more cuts were decorated along his arms, sides, and legs – some small enough to need nothing, others large enough to need more tape and some bandages.

Laying him on his back was really the only way for Alec to be able to rest comfortably. It looked like they’d stuck to his front as much as possible. Likely so they could watch him _hurt_.

Magnus’ magic trembled over his skin, and in the far distance of the loft, something shattered.

“Quit worrying so hard.”

The low, raspy sound of Alec’s sleep-heavy voice startled Magnus. He hadn’t realized that Alec was starting to wake, let alone that he finally had. Magnus lifted his head and looked down at his boyfriend’s face only to find that Alec had his eyes still closed and his head tipped toward Magnus the way it had been for the past few hours. The angle wasn’t the best, but it was enough to show the tight lines of pain around Alec’s eyes.

Alec had woken up once in the early hours of the morning when the call for the bathroom had pushed through his exhaustion. His potion had worn off by then as well, leaving him tired and _aching._ Magnus had helped Alec to the bathroom despite his embarrassment at the idea. He’d also helped to get Alec some more mundane pain meds to take after he explained why it was he couldn’t just heal him or let him use an iratze.

Apparently, those meds had worn off. A glance at the clock explained why.

Magnus winced a little. Oh yeah, they were well beyond the time for them to have worn off. He quickly began the careful process of extracting himself from Alec without hurting him more. “I’m sorry, darling. Your medicine’s worn off.”

“I said quit worrying so hard, not worry more,” Alec mumbled. He made a noise of discontent when Magnus drew further away.

It was hard not to just curl back in and coo a little at the rather adorable look of sleepy disgruntlement Alec shot his way. As it was, Magnus had to settle for shooting a fond look his boyfriend’s way while still climbing from the bed. “I’m allowed to worry when you’re as much bandage as person. Now, just let me get you some more medicine, and then I’ll be back and we can see about perhaps getting you upright and some breakfast into you.”

The medicine was just in the bathroom on the counter. As Magnus headed over, he heard a low, appreciative murmur behind him. Magnus looked over his shoulder and grinned. Alec had rolled his head just enough to be able to watch Magnus as he walked to the bathroom – just as bare as he’d been when he’d crawled into bed last night.

“Behave,” Magnus teased him. “You’re definitely not up for that yet, darling.”

Hearing Alec’s chuckle only made Magnus smile all the more. If it weren’t for the fact that the other man was injured, this low, easy teasing would be the perfect kind of morning. But as it was, there was too much hanging over them for the mood to truly be light.

After a moment of contemplation, Magnus chose the mundane medicine and left the potion for later. That was stronger and would likely knock Alec out for a while. Better to give him the mundane medicine. It required a more potent dose than for mundanes – the angel blood fought things off easier than mundane blood did – and it’d last for less time, but it’d leave Alec more clearheaded. Something Magnus had a feeling they were going to need.

When Magnus stepped back out of the bathroom, it was to find that his stupid, stubborn boyfriend was already halfway sitting up. His injured body was trembling as he tried to push himself up enough to sit back against the headboard.

Mentally cursing up a storm, Magnus rushed forward. “What’re you doing? You should’ve waited for me!”

The fact that Alec didn’t even try and say anything in his defense was a sign of just how tightly he was trying to hold it together.

Magnus got Alec upright and carefully situated against a mound of pillows with gentle hands and a little help from magic. He climbed in beside him, conjuring up a glass of water so that Alec could swallow down the pills. After that, it was just a matter of stroking Alec’s hair and waiting for the pain to die down. It hurt to watch and to know that there was nothing he could do. No magic, no runes, nothing that could take away Alec’s pain yet.

Magnus tracked its retreat in the lessening of lines on Alec’s face. The loss of tension around his mouth.

After a few minutes, Alec opened up his eyes. They were still a bit hazy. Tired in ways that made Magnus want to bundle him up and keep back the world – a world that seemed intent on finding ways to hurt him. But there was strength in there, too, that had gotten him through it all – strength, and love.

“Sorry,” was the first thing Alec murmured.

Much as Magnus wanted to scold him, he let out a sigh instead and leaned in to press a kiss to his cheek. “You need to take it easy, Alexander. I know you’re not used to it, but your body is healing. You have to be careful with yourself.”

“I know, I’m sorry. I just wanted to sit up.”

Pushing the point would get Magnus nowhere. He settled for another soft kiss against Alec’s cheek. Then he drew back a little. “Well, since you’re up, we should get some food in you. Medicine works better with something in your stomach.” Sitting up, Magnus thought for a moment and then grinned. A snap of his fingers and a wave of his hand conjured up their breakfast tray. Another bit of magic brought a glass of strawberry milk, because coffee was out of the picture at the moment and Alec absolutely hated the taste of plain milk, and a big bowl of oatmeal, as well as a small plate of cut fruits. “There! Something nice and filling to coat your stomach so the medicine won’t make you nauseous.”

As always, Alec looked so pleased by the idea of someone wanting to take care of him. So _shy_. In the privacy of their home he didn’t fuss as much anymore over Magnus _spoiling him_ , as he put it. Alec might come off as a tough guy to everyone else, but to Magnus he was a sweetheart. One who smiled so brightly at something as simple as Magnus fetching him breakfast, like it was the kindest, sweetest thing someone had ever done for him. A fact which often left Magnus’ wanting to spoil him even more.

Alec’s smile grew even more when he saw the glass of strawberry milk. “Thank you, Magnus. This looks perfect.”

“Of course, darling.”

Magnus scooted out of the way so that Alec would be free to eat. Though the urge was there to feed him, it was one Magnus knew his shadowhunter wouldn’t appreciate in the slightest. So, Magnus stayed on his side of the bed, body tilted toward Alec, and he watched as Alec took his first few bites.

It was only after his third bite that Alec spoke up again. Only, when he did, it wasn’t with what Magnus would’ve expected. Though he really should have. Alec wasn’t the type to sit back and let something stew between them. He might be shy with his own feelings about things, or speaking up when he was the one who had a problem, but if he knew Magnus was upset with him, he’d face it head-on every single time.

Magnus watched as Alec drew in a breath that shook only slightly. Then he lifted his eyes and caught Magnus’ gaze. “We should probably talk about… things.”

It was on the tip of Magnus’ tongue to tell Alec that the conversation could wait. At least until after breakfast. But all Magnus had to do was look at Alec’s face to know that that wouldn’t work. If he tried to put it off, Alec was going to sit and stew even more, and that wasn’t going to do him any good. He wasn’t going to be able to relax until they hashed some things out. And if Magnus were honest with himself, _he_ wouldn’t be able to relax all the way, either.

He must’ve taken too long to respond. Alec’s expression shifted a little, tightening around the edges, and he briefly pressed his lips flat. “I’m sorry,” he blurted out. “I should’ve told you about the threats.”

Those words were too reminiscent of their last big fight. That time, Alec had been keeping quiet about a threat against Magnus and every other downworlder. This time, he’d been keeping quiet about a threat against _himself_.

“Why didn’t you?” Magnus asked.

Alec poked at his oatmeal with his spoon. He looked down, and Magnus caught a hint of a wince when the younger man shrugged. “Does it matter?”

Those words hurt. Not because Magnus assumed that Alec didn’t want to tell him, though the thought briefly flashed across his mind. No, it hurt because Magnus knew Alec honestly thought it _didn’t_ matter. He didn’t believe anything he said would justify it and was willing to accept that he’d done wrong without even trying to defend himself. Whether that was because of how he’d been raised or because the last time they’d argued like this, Magnus hadn’t given him an opportunity to explain.

Magnus winced. “Of course it matters. Alexander, this isn’t me yelling at you. This is us _talking_ about why it was you didn’t tell me someone was threatening your life. It has nothing to do with our jobs as leaders, and everything to do with my job as your boyfriend.”

“I didn’t want to worry you,” Alec said. He scooped up another bite of his oatmeal, only to turn his spoon and dump it back in the bowl. Everything about him read a tension that Magnus hated to see. Alec hunched himself inward and avoided looking over at Magnus as he added on, “And, honestly? I didn’t want to fight about it.”

The blunt words had Magnus flinching. At the same time, he felt his temper start to kick in a little. “So you decided to preempt that by simply not telling me?” The words came out sharp, and Magnus had to forcibly clamp down on that. It made his tone a bit flatter. “I already worry about you, Alexander. Not telling me these things doesn’t prevent that. I knew getting into this relationship what kind of risks your job presents. Not just as a shadowhunter, but as the Head of your Institute. I _know_ what it means to be a leader. So you not telling me things doesn’t save me from anything. The worry is already there. At least if I know something’s going on, I can help protect you against it.”

Alec ducked his head a little more, and he gave an aggressive stir to his oatmeal. Then, with a sigh, his shoulders slumped. “I’m sorry, Magnus.”

“I know you are.” He did, too. He understood that Alec was sorry, and he even understood why he did it. But that didn’t mean Magnus wasn’t going to make sure he drove his point home here. “If it were just a few random threats, that’d be one thing. I don’t expect you to tell me every time something happens. But when it got serious enough that they came in and left a letter on your _desk…_ ” At the surprised look Alec shot his way, Magnus nodded. “Yes. Underhill let me know about that one. That’s more than just an empty threat, Alec. That’s serious. Knowing that you kept that from me, it just, it makes me wonder how much more you’re keeping from me.”

Magnus hadn’t really meant those words – not much, at least. They were just an aching snap meant to lash out a little. So he was surprised when he saw Alec actually _flinch_ from him. His brows drew down, and his eyes dropped down and away in a sign of _guilt_.

The temper Magnus had been fighting suddenly froze, poised and ready to fall over a ledge he hadn’t expected to find. “Alexander?”

Dark eyes flashed up to Magnus’ face, away, and then back up again. It hurt to watch the way that Alec drew in a breath and visibly steeled himself as he finally set down his spoon and pushed the breakfast tray away a bit. How he drew himself together and braced his spine into a pose that said he was ready to take any blow that came to him. He hadn’t taken that pose around Magnus since the early days after their breakup and reconciliation. Back when he’d been so sure that everything he said, everything he did, was going to send Magnus away from him once more.

Seeing that pose return hurt worse than any blow Alec could’ve delivered. Magnus had hated seeing it then, though he’d understood. The two had needed to work through a lot to get themselves back to where they’d been. And in the end, they’d come out stronger than ever. Magnus had been so sure that they’d worked past that. That Alec felt comfortable and secure in their relationship. But to see it now, here, after months and months without it, was painful.

Almost as painful as the knowledge that Alec had been keeping even more secrets from him.

“I’ve had a few meetings lately with the Clave that I haven’t told you about,” Alec said bluntly. His voice was flatter, some of the emotion that Magnus was so used to hearing gone. It was like he was reporting to the Clave – or to his parents.

Magnus fought down his instinctive anger. They were going to get nowhere here if he let that out. Not when Alec was clearly already convinced that anger was what he was going to get.

Drawing in a breath, Magnus forced himself to be calmer. “Okay. Why didn’t you tell me about them?”

He watched as Alec closed his eyes for a second, as he drew in another steadying breath and his hands twitched like he wanted to clasp them behind him in his soldier pose. The one he took when he was trying to protect himself from the world. _From Magnus_. Then, with that bluntness and bravery that Magnus usually admired, he opened his eyes again and met Magnus’ stare head on. “Honestly? Because I wasn’t sure I could handle your reaction on top of everyone else’s.”

Those words were the last thing Magnus had expected to hear. He leaned back from them, and he felt how his eyebrows shot up and his eyes went wide.

Alec wasn’t done, though. He went on and proceeded to break Magnus’ heart even more. “I fight my ass off against the Clave to try and bring forward the things the Downworld wants me to bring, and I expect the pushback from them. It’s getting better, but it’s still not easy, so I expect to go in there and fight for everything. But I also have to spend the Cabinet meetings fighting, too, because I’m not working hard enough or fast enough for anyone there, and I get it, I do. It’s just… between the Clave, the Cabinet, and then all those jokes from my siblings about how it’s _about time_ I started doing this…the last thing I wanted was to come home and hear it from you, too. It’s part of why I didn’t want to bring up the threats, because they’re all tied in together, and I just, I didn’t want to hear everyone panic, or their rationalizations as to why someone might come after me, or any of it.”

Magnus knew better than anyone just how much words could hurt. He knew how to employ them to be just as sharp and just as cutting as any blade. He’d done it, and experienced it, many times in his life. Yet he was utterly unprepared for Alec’s words, or for how deeply they would cut him.

“ _Alexander_.” For a moment everything else fell away. Magnus had to draw in a deep breath to steel himself to keep going, to carry through this conversation. “Is that what you honestly believe? That I would, what? Belittle your efforts? _Rationalize_ the actions of someone who wants to hurt you?”

“I think you’ve all been treated horribly for a long, long time, and you’re understandably eager for the chance to finally be treated equally,” Alec said gently. “I also think far too many of you have been in their shoes where you wanted to lash out at the people responsible for your pain.”

Oh, this boy. This sweet, broken, amazing boy. Just when Magnus thought he understood him, once more Alec threw him for a loop. One that Magnus hadn’t expected and hadn’t had any time to brace for.

Equal parts love and pain wrapped around Magnus’ heart. Only Alexander would fight on multiple fronts for the rights and freedom of the Downworld, take all that anger as if it were his due, and bear it all silently.

It was hard not to just reach out to him and wrap him up in a hug. Or to smother the man in kisses. Much as Magnus might want to offer that love and comfort, they needed to work through this first. Because gentle reassurances weren’t going to fix the root of this problem.

“Have I ever done anything to make you feel like you couldn’t talk to me?” Magnus asked him bluntly.

He watched as Alec flinched again – a barely visible twitch around his eyes. “No…”

Magnus didn’t give Alec time to make any kind of excuse. “Have I somehow given the impression that I would be the type of person to ridicule you and your efforts?”

“No, Magnus, of course not…”

“Then why would you make the assumption that I would do so now?” Here, Magnus gentled a little, and he twisted so that they were better facing one another. He let himself soften in the hopes that maybe it would give his words the kind of meaning that might sink in. “I know how hard you’re working for all of us, Alexander. You fight with everything you have for our rights, the rights of my people. I would never belittle that effort. Any complaints I make…” Because Magnus was man enough to admit that he was going to have complaints. “…would be toward the Clave and their bigotry. Never towards you. I apologize if anything I’ve said has ever made you feel otherwise.”

Immediately, Alec was trying to push against the bed so that he could twist and reach out for Magnus. He only stopped when Magnus leaned forward enough to catch his hand. Alec gripped tightly to it and fixed Magnus with an earnest look. “No, Magnus. No. You’ve never done anything. You’ve always been amazing.”

Hearing that helped, though a part of Magnus wondered quietly if it was true or if it was just Alec’s inability to see anything wrong in him. He vowed silently to keep a better watch on his words in the future. (He also vowed to speak up the next time he heard one of the jokes from the others that were clearly bothering Alec far more than he’d let on)

For now, he tightened his fingers lightly on Alec’s hand, and he let himself gentle even more, pouring all the love he felt into his next soft words. “I’m not the people in your past who never wanted to hear what you had to say. I’m not your family, here to judge you for what have or haven’t done. I’m your _partner_. It’s my job and my _privilege_ to stand by you and support you in what you do.”

Staying back had been a necessity while they were talking about this. Not so now as Magnus watched Alec’s eyes brim with the kind of emotion he wouldn’t dare let anyone else see. Then, no force could’ve kept Magnus from moving forward and drawing Alec in for a careful hug. He went up on his knees to prevent Alec from having to bend, and he drew his boyfriend in against him, cradling Alec carefully so as not to jar his injuries.

“I love you,” Magnus whispered, pressing his cheek against Alec’s. “Let me be there for you. Please.”

Alec’s hands pressed in tighter against Magnus’ bare skin. “I love you, too.”

They were going to have to talk about this more, Magnus knew. He needed Alec to understand that he would support him, that he wouldn’t ridicule him or his efforts, and that he needed to be made aware when someone was threatening him. Getting that across wasn’t going to be as simple as just one talk. The both of them had too many trust issues for anything to be resolved that simply. But this? This was enough for now. It was enough that Alec had opened up to him and been honest with him. So long as they had that, the rest could come with time.

Besides, they had another topic to talk about, and this one was likely going to be a bit more pressing.

* * *

Magnus got Alec through the rest of his breakfast first, and an impromptu nap after that, before they finally ended up curled up in bed together, Alec on his back still and Magnus on his stomach, his head propped up on Alec. They laid there together and were talking about their second set of problems. Well, second and third.

“How’d you get my siblings to go back to the Institute?” Alec asked him curiously.

Magnus snorted a little and rolled his eyes. He reached out to play his fingers across Alec’s chest. He was careful to move around the handprint there. The strange mark that somehow managed to mark Alec’s skin like a burn yet leave his chest hair intact. A fact which Magnus was a bit grateful for. He did so love the reactions he could get by playing with Alec’s chest hair.

The soft stroke of fingers against his side drew Magnus’ attention back to where it should be. He blinked his eyes a few times to clear his thoughts and try to remember what he’d been asked. When he did, he huffed. “I didn’t exactly give them much choice. Despite the fact that they seem to believe they own you and anything connected to you, this is _our_ home, and you needed rest. Not to be aggravated by another fight.”

“They were just worried about me, the same as you.”

“Yes, they were. They were also rude, disrespectful, and demanding. Three things I felt no need to put up with. Not when I had something far more important that was deserving of my attention.”

When Magnus snuck a peek upward, he was rewarded with the sight of a faint blush coloring over Alec’s cheeks. _Adorable_.

“Plus,” Magnus added, twisting himself enough that he could settle in with his hand over Alec’s breast and his chin resting on his hand, balancing to look up at him without putting stress on any of Alec’s injuries. It let him watch Alec’s face directly as he said, “We had an important conversation happening that I didn’t think they needed to be present for.”

That blush in Alec’s cheeks grew a little bit stronger. Just as it did every time they talked about Gabriel.

Magnus knew that Alec was still kind of getting used to the idea that talking about Gabriel like this was at all okay. Let alone finding the ease in it that Magnus did. His young shadowhunter had taken time to come to terms with the fact that he loved Magnus and that it was okay. The idea that he’d started to care for someone _else_ – and that Magnus was not only _okay_ with it, he _shared_ in it – was taking him a while.

But it’d all come about in the most amazingly natural of ways. Magnus wasn’t sure he could even pinpoint when their conversations started to shift from talking about their friend to talking about someone that they were both growing to care about beyond what they’d anticipated.

It wasn’t as if Magnus were well versed in poly relationships. As he’d told people before, he was generally a _one soul at a time_ kind of guy. But things with Gabriel had just sort of… naturally evolved. Their friendship with him had grown with each visit, each night spent out dancing at Pandemonium, each evening spent hanging out at the loft cooking and watching movies and laughing, until it felt more natural to have him there than to not.

Some of his and Alec’s talks had come out in late night moments between the two of them right here in this bed. Fantasies, little teases, that had only grown into more. Bigger things that had started to come out in the light of day, too. Alec and Magnus had just recently started to talk about it then. To lay out what they were both feeling and what it meant to them. What _he_ meant to them.

Now, Magnus wasn’t sure if they would get the chance to say it all to _Gabriel_.

“He’ll come back,” Alec said, as if he’d been able to pick up on what Magnus was thinking. Something he was quite good at even if he denied it.

Magnus sighed and rolled his head so that his cheek was resting on his hand. “I sincerely hope so.”

The hand that was stroking along Magnus’ side slowly lifted up to brush against his hair. “He will, _papi_. He just needs a little time first.”

The shake in Alec’s hand prompted Magnus to reach up with his own free hand and catch hold of Alec’s. He drew it in enough to press a kiss against the scarred knuckles. Then he lowered it down to rest comfortably against his neck instead so that Alec didn’t have to try and keep it lifted. Magnus stroked his index finger over Alec’s knuckles while he turned back to smile at him. “You have such faith.”

“That’s part of the job.” The teasing words were echoed with a small smile and a press of Alec’s fingers against Magnus’ neck. When Magnus chuckled, Alec’s smile grew. “But it’s not just that. It’s… I know the type. He’s a lot like Jace in this, and a little bit like you.”

“Me?”

Gentle fingers slid along the back of Magnus’ neck and scratched at the base of his short hairs. Alec’s expression was all fondness and warmth, and a gentleness that no one had ever shown to Magnus before. “Yeah. Usually he sort of, distracts people from things like you do. He gets a bit over-the-top, a bit goofy, and draws people’s attention away from stuff, just like you.”

It wasn’t easy not to squirm underneath those words and the love in Alec’s face as he said them.

“But he’s like Jace, too,” Alec went on. “When things get hard, he runs before anyone gets the chance to hurt him. He’ll probably come back full of arguments about how we’re wrong, we don’t actually care about him, and how this won’t ever work, but he _will_ come back.”

How it was that people thought that Alexander was bad at reading people was a mystery Magnus was never going to understand. He’d fallen for it a little at first – watching the discomfort that Alec showed around people, how little he liked being out in crowded places, his clear dislike of having to socially interact with anyone at Pandemonium. Alec was the image of a socially awkward, shy young man. Seeing that, it was easy to underestimate him. To forget that Alec had been raised to be the Head of an Institute.

Akec was well versed in everything that his position required. Political training, military training, leadership training – all of which included an understanding of people. Alec knew how to read people, their body language, their actions. He’d never be able to successfully run an Institute, keep diplomatic relations with any of the Downworld factions, or survive dealings with the Clave, if he didn’t know how to handle and read people.

Magnus had come to learn that the professional version of his boyfriend carried a whole lot more confidence and ease than the private version of him – or at least, better masks to hide behind. Alec could play the part perfectly when he was in his Head of the Institute mode. He was confident in that role. He just wasn’t as confident in himself.

Sighing, Magnus tilted his head and pressed a soft kiss against Alec’s chest. “I hope you’re right, _sayang_.”

“What…” Alec paused and cleared his throat. It steadied his voice, though it did nothing for that hint of pink still in his cheeks. “We’ve never really said outright what it is we want to do. You know. With this whole thing.”

“You’re right, we haven’t,” Magnus agreed. Though they’d talked vaguely about things, there’d never been any exact confirmation of what either one of them wanted. They’d hinted, guessed, talked around some of it, but they hadn’t spoken the words clearly. Something it looked like they would no longer be able to put off.

“What, um… what do you want to do?”

“What do _you_ want, Alexander?” The last thing Magnus wanted was to say something and have Alec try and go along with it just because it was something Magnus wanted.

The look Alec gave him made it clear he knew what Magnus was doing there. Yet, he also seemed to draw strength from that somehow. His hand pressed in against Magnus’ skin again, fingers toying over his neck and down, and his touch was steadier. Even the blush faded from his cheeks. “I want you.”

“And you have me, darling. No matter what,” Magnus reassured him.

Alec smiled down at him. “I know.” And the certainty there said that he did. Even with everything that had happened, even with the talk they’d had earlier, Alec still held that same absolute certainty about them that always left Magnus stunned. No one had ever loved him that much. Yet Alec said it like it was nothing – like it was the simplest fact in the world. The same way he continued to speak as he added on, “I want him, too. More than I realized.”

“Me too,” Magnus said softly.

Alec tilted his head just a little. His brows drew down and he studied Magnus’ face with an intensity Magnus still wasn’t quite used to. “Are you sure? Especially now that we know…”

A half grin curled Magnus’ lips. “That he’s an archangel?”

“Yeah.”

Magnus chewed on the inside of his lip for a moment. He shifted in the bed, body twisting so that he was curled sideways, able to rest his cheek on Alec’s chest and look up at him, but also reach up as well, catching his hand and resting it between them. They probably looked ridiculous – Alec, laid out with blankets up to his waist, covered in bandages and bruises, propped up against pillows. And Magnus, still naked, curled up sideways, resting against him. But it was both comfortable and comforting.

Playing with Alec’s fingers, feeling the familiar strength there, helped Magnus find the words he’d been thinking these past few hours.

“To be honest, I was a bit concerned at first. Considering who I am, I didn’t… I wasn’t quite sure how he’d react.” Magnus could see the protest already beginning to form on Alec’s lips, and he smiled. “Calm down, darling. I said I _was_.”

“What changed your mind?”

“I realized that it hadn’t made any difference for him so far. He has never once treated me differently because of my heritage. Even though he likely knew my father in some way or another.”

“You’re not your father,” Alec said firmly. Always so ready to defend Magnus – even against himself.

Smiling, Magnus drew Alec’s hand up and kissed his knuckles again. “I know. But what about you, darling? Does knowing who he is bother you?”

Alec gave the question the same consideration that Magnus had. He took a minute to think about his words and play a little with Magnus’ fingers. Usually, he would’ve been playing with Magnus’ rings while he thought. Without them there, he settled for just playing with Magnus’ fingers instead. Tracing the lines of his knuckles, the curve of his nail.

“I don’t think so?” Alec finally said. The words came out a bit slow at first like he wasn’t quite sure of them. “I mean, there’s a part of me that’s a bit in awe, honestly. I grew up praying to him almost as often as I prayed to Raziel.”

Magnus’ eyebrows went up. “Did you?”

Nodding, Alec looked down at their joined hands. “Yeah. I, uh… I don’t know if you’ve ever seen our bible or had the chance to compare it to some of the mundane ones. But ours focuses a bit more on angels than it does on God. I used to read it a lot when I was a kid. No one ever questioned me reading that, and I liked learning about the angels.”

Of course he had. Though Magnus had never encountered the nephilim bible – hadn’t even known they had their own – he wasn’t surprised by the idea of it. Nor by the fact that it focused more on angels than anything else. Angels were, after all, a big part of nephilim and shadowhunter culture.

Magnus could just picture a young Alec curled up with their bible reading it for hours because he wanted to learn more about the angels. His too-serious little Alexander, who loved to curl up with a good book but wasn’t allowed to back then, reading a bible because he wanted the joy of reading and because he wanted to learn about the angels he so revered. He likely wore the same soft smile that he did now.

“I loved reading about Gabriel. He was the one in there that I felt the most connected to,” Alec went on. His smile grew a little more. “He was described as the archangel of justice, the one who delivered God’s Word. A messenger, but a warrior, and a protector of children. We had a lot about him in there because he was the one who followed God’s orders to slay the original nephil. The ones who were born, not made. It’s said that it’s he who would come and destroy anyone who reached beyond their grasp, who drew in too much angelic power. Like the parabatai who dare consummate their bond.” A grimace briefly crossed Alec’s features. His eyes went down and away from Magnus, down to his other side.

Magnus’ heart broke a little at that quiet admission. How many times had Alec worried about that growing up? How many times had he convinced himself not to do anything with Jace by thinking of those stories of what Gabriel might do to him?

Alec didn’t give him a chance to ask about any of that. He drew in a breath and went on despite it.

“But even with all that, he’s just… he’s just Gabriel, you know?” Some of the tension wiped off of Alec, and a hint of his smile came back. He shrugged one shoulder, wincing only a little when he did. “He’s just, he’s smart, and he’s funny, and he’s nice, and I just… I like him.”

That was just it, wasn’t it? They liked him. Not the archangel, but the person, if that was the word for him. Magnus smiled softly. “Me too, Alexander. I like him, too.”

They liked Gabriel for who he was, not what species he was. As Alec and Magnus had proved to countless people, they didn’t care for race or species. It was who a person was that mattered, not the rest of it. And they knew who Gabriel was. Maybe they hadn’t known about the angel part of him, and all the implications that went along with it, but honestly? They’d already known he was _part_ angel. What did it matter if he had more angel blood than they’d originally thought? That didn’t change the core of who he was.

Magnus just hoped they’d get the chance to tell him that.


	5. Chapter 5

A few hours later found Alec upright, dressed, and on his way to the Institute despite Magnus’ best efforts.

Much as Alec understood why Magnus wanted to keep him in bed – and as much as his body may have agreed with that – they both knew it wasn’t possible. The fact that Alec had already spent at least sixteen hours in bed since his return was bad enough. Too much was waiting to be dealt with and none of it was something he felt comfortable leaving for anyone else to handle.

It took a bit of arguing to get Magnus to agree, but eventually he seemed to understand that Alec was going to go whether he liked it or not.

Not that he gave in easily. “I’m going with you,” Magnus insisted firmly. He stood in the bathroom doorway watching Alec brush his teeth, arms crossed over his chest and a mulish look on his face.

That was an easy enough thing to agree with. Alec bent and spit some toothpaste into the sink before he said a simple, “Of course.”

“And I’m staying with you. No sending me away so you can deal with things.”

Alec had grimaced at that, yet he’d also immediately started to adjust his plans. “Okay.”

Signing himself up for a bodyguard while he went into his own Institute was something that probably would’ve grated on Alec on a different day. As it was, there was a part of him that honestly was happy at the idea that Magnus wasn’t going to leave him alone. Just because his brain had plenty of other things to focus on didn’t mean he was perfectly okay. Alec knew there were nightmares waiting for him in his future. Days of jumpiness and relearning how to let his guard down a little once more. Having Magnus beside him was a comfort that Alec might not have been able to admit out loud that he needed, but that he appreciated nonetheless.

They took long enough to change the bandages on Alec’s wounds before they left, and for another dose of mundane pain medicine. “Judging by how you’ve burned through the last few doses, this should get you about two hours, tops,” Magnus told him as he gave it to him. “Any more than that and we risk making you too drowsy to really do much.”

“I can do it,” Alec said.

Magnus’ face went soft, and there were those faint lines in his forehead that only showed up when he was worried. He reached up and lightly stroked the backs of his fingers along Alec’s cheeks. “I know you can, _sayang_. But that doesn’t mean you have to.”

“I have important things I have to deal with, Magnus.”

“So you do. But I have important things to deal with, too, and I’m willing to step in and do whatever is necessary to make sure that important thing is properly taken care of.”

The way that Magnus looked at him, the love in his voice, left Alec blushing just a little. He had no doubt what Magnus meant there, or that he did actually mean it. To him, his job was to take care of Alec, and from past experience Alec knew that Magnus would let nothing get in the way of that. Though, thankfully, he was much better at doing it discreetly than Alec’s siblings were. They were blatant in their need to make Alec rest or take care of himself. Occasionally belligerent. Magnus had mastered the art of subtlety a long time ago.

Together, the two men finished cleaning Alec up, medicating him, and then getting him dressed. Alec let Magnus put him in what he called a _power suit_. One of the tailored ones that fit him well and yet was still surprisingly easy to move around in. Magnus had said it made him look more like a leader when they’d bought it. That it made him look _powerful_. The suit itself was simple, in Alec’s opinion, the only color a deep, dark red shirt that could’ve almost been mistaken for black. The material was soft, though, something which he was grateful for against his sensitive skin.

Magnus dressed to match Alec in little ways that Alec once wouldn’t have noticed. His own clothes were dark with slashes of the same shade of red as Alec’s shirt, plus a few lighter ones, and just a bit tighter than normal, though Alec knew from watching his lover in the past that Magnus could move and fight in all his clothes. Even if they didn’t look like he should be able to. His jewelry only seemed to further the dark and dangerous look he was going for. Though the silver of his necklaces and rings, and a few chains on his jacket, should’ve lightened things up a bit, they actually served to make him look _armed_.

“You look stunning,” Alec told him. Because there would never exist a moment where Magnus came at him looking like that and Alec said _nothing_.

Magnus grinned and _preened_ a little under Alec’s gaze. “Thank you, darling.” He walked up to Alec and reached out to curl his hand into the curve of Alec’s right arm, the one that had the least damage to it. His touch was gentle yet firm, and his smile was bright when he looked up through dark lashes and kohl-lined eyes. “I had to attempt to keep up with your dashing looks.”

At Alec’s instant blush, Magnus laughed.

“Come on. We should get going.” Winking, Magnus gave Alec’s arm a squeeze, and then he reached a free hand out and called up a portal in the middle of the living room, one that would take them to the front steps of the Institute. They’d already discussed how their arrival was going to work. Alec was insistent on walking in through the front doors to try and keep things as normal and relaxed as possible.

Alec wouldn’t admit to anyone just how much he leaned into Magnus hold as the two of them walked up the steps of the Institute and inside. He was an expert at putting on a display for the people around him. Pretending that he was fine when he wasn’t. Physical pain or emotional, Alec was well trained in how to hide it all. But for the first time he was with someone who understood the necessity of those masks and who also knew how to help him with them.

There was no outward sign to anyone to show just how much Magnus was helping him. His hands were curled around Alec’s arm like he was being escorted, yet there was a strength there that Alec could lean on, and the subtle feel of magic brushing against his skin in a discreet support, like Magnus’ very magic wanted to help hold Alec upright.

Something told Alec that if he fell that magic would help to keep him up and moving as if nothing were wrong.

The first person they encountered as they came inside was Andrew. He’d clearly seen their arrival on the cameras, and he was waiting for Alec in the Ops Center.

The fact that no one else really glanced askance at them – simply nodded, waved a greeting, and went on about their work – told Alec that somehow word had been kept quiet. _Thank the angel._

Andrew ran a quick, assessing look up and down Alec. Clearly _he_ knew what was going on. But he was also one of the most professional people Alec knew. He wouldn’t call Alec out on anything here where everyone could hear him. The man stood at attention and waited for Alec to come to him as he’d done many, many times when Alec showed up for work, and then he easily fell in beside them so that they could keep on walking toward Alec’s office.

“Good morning, sir,” he greeted easily, nodding at Alec and then over at Magnus. “Magnus.”

Though Alec insisted repeatedly that it wasn’t necessary, when they were working like this Andrew consistently called him _sir_. Something that Magnus had told Alec was “A sign of respect, darling. One you should allow.”

“Good morning, Andrew,” Magnus said, speaking up for the both of them when it was clear that Alec wasn’t quite going to manage it. Moving like this was harder than Alec had anticipated. “How are you this morning?”

The two fell into easy chatter between them while they all made their way to Alec’s office. Alec knew what he had to do first, no matter that a part of him wanted to go down to the cells and make sure the prisoners were there and being well treated. That was something he could ask Andrew about; he didn’t have to do it himself, though he wanted to. There were other things that needed handling first.

Alec had never been so grateful to see his office before. Going in there meant privacy, and the comfort of his chair, something that he was starting to long for with every single step that sent another jolt of burning pain up his leg and through his aching muscles. He didn’t even fight it when Magnus practically ushered him there the instant they were in the office. Alec let himself be led to the chair, and he tried not to be embarrassed that Andrew was there to witness the way that Magnus carefully lowered Alec down into the chair.

“There we are,” Magnus murmured in a voice pitched for Alec’s ears alone. “Take a moment, Alexander. Just sit there a moment and breathe. You’re doing well. Just breathe for me.”

Easier said than done. Alec gripped at Magnus’ hand and forced his breathing to come in regularly instead of in the choppy gasps that wanted to rip through him.

He’d known it would hurt to walk in here. It had hurt to get up and walk to the bathroom. The bandaged cuts _burned_ when they were tugged, and some of the bruising had gone pretty damn deep. Alec felt slightly like he’d been thrown into a brick wall and forced to walk back to the Institute without his stele – something he unfortunately had experience with. This? This was only mildly less unpleasant.

The sooner his ‘internal energies’ or whatever it was Magnus had called it finally evened out, the better off he’d be.

When Alec’s head finally cleared enough for him to focus he found Magnus leaning in against his chair and Andrew standing at the other side of the desk. The office door was shut, and the prickle on Alec’s skin told him that the wards were up around them. It was kind of like being wrapped in a blanket of _Magnus_. Those wards never failed to make Alec feel safe.

Andrew said nothing as Alec settled. He just stood there, hands folded over a tablet in front of him, waiting silently.

Alec drew in a deep breath. He’d made it in here – that was step one. Now on to step two. “Are the prisoners still secure downstairs?”

“Yes, sir. Gabriel passed along your orders when he brought them in. We’ve kept them isolated, under guard, and we’ve made sure their presence is kept quiet from the rest of the Institute. No one knows anything beyond that they’ve been brought in for questioning.”

Though it was hard, Alec kept back his surprise at hearing Gabriel’s name, though it didn’t stop the brief ache he felt inside. _Focus. Do your job!_ The rest could come later. Alec had already pushed the bounds of things enough for now. He needed to handle business before he let himself stress any more about his personal life.

With hands that were thankfully steadier than they felt, Alec reached out for the parchment and pen he kept on his desk. “I’m going to reach out and contact the representatives for both the warlocks and the vampires. For now, I want to continue to keep this quiet. The last thing we need is the Institute in an uproar. As soon as Lorenzo and Raphael arrive, I want them brought directly to me.” A few quick words across the papers, both of them, and then Magnus reached past them to light the papers and send them flying for him.

Andrew nodded at his orders. “Of course.”

This next part wasn’t going to be easy, and Alec shot Andrew an apologetic look as he said it. “If at all possible, try to see that my siblings are kept back from this. If they want to meet with me, let them know I’ll meet them here as soon as I’m done downstairs, and that they can wait for me in here.”

The grimace Andrew gave wasn’t all that reassuring. “I’ll do my best.”

“I know you will.” Alec unbent enough to offer him a faint smile. Then he sighed and gestured toward the door. “Go ahead and go wait for the others to arrive. I want to make sure they’re escorted right to me without any trouble.” Plus, he needed a minute to compose a report for the Clave. One that he would edit once he’d spoken with Lorenzo and Raphael.

Magnus waited until Andrew had left them before he sank down onto the armrest of Alec’s chair. Then he leaned in and kissed the top of Alec’s head. “You’re doing wonderfully.”

“I walked in here and sat down,” Alec said dryly.

His words got a low, amused snort from Magnus. The type of sound that Alec knew the warlock didn’t let others hear him make. He remembered the first time Magnus had snorted in front of him – not a disgusted sniff, or an annoyed huff, but a proper _snort_. The mortification on his face afterward had left Alec torn between laughing and wrapping him up in a tight hug.

“You could’ve passed all of this off to subordinates if you so chose, yet here you are despite what’s been done to you,” Magnus said. He toyed with a few strands of Alec’s hair, brushing a bit of it away from his ear, and then ran his thumb over the shell of Alec’s ear. “You’re here, fighting to make sure that everyone is treated right and fair no matter who they are. Even if anyone out there would understand you reacting differently in these circumstances.”

Alec wanted to argue that – no matter who the crime was against, himself, his family, anyone, it shouldn’t mean that people got special treatment, neither good nor bad – but before he could say a word, Magnus suddenly sat up straighter. A second later there was a knock on the door.

Judging by Magnus’ reaction, it looked like company had arrived. Alec drew in a deep, steadying breath, and he straightened himself up a little in his seat. It required him to lean in against Magnus to do it, which had Magnus responding by adjusting his seat. Maybe they didn’t look the most professional sitting like this. However, in this small thing Alec was going to break protocol. Not only was Magnus not going to leave him alone – Alec really didn’t want him to.

A glance up at Magnus got Alec a nod. He was ready.

“Come in!” Alec called out.

The door opened to Andrew first, who stepped in and held it wide, making room for Lorenzo to sweep in, with Raphael following along on his heels.

The two men took in Alec and Magnus with a quick look. Lorenzo faltered only slightly, while Raphael furrowed his brow. It was clear that Raphael saw a lot more than Lorenzo did.

Alec nodded in greeting toward the two men. “Lorenzo, Raphael, thank you for coming. Please, come have a seat. We’ve got a lot to talk about.”

Because Andrew was good at his job, and he knew Alec well, he quietly left the room and shut the door without having to be told. That meant that there was no one there to witness as Magnus waved a hand and once more activated the privacy wards on the room. The gesture wasn’t missed by either one of their guests. Raphael instantly looked even more on alert, and Lorenzo had a suspicious look that he was only barely hiding behind his political smile.

“Mr. Lightwood,” Lorenzo said formally, giving a small bow. His gaze cooled a little when it went to Magnus. “Bane.” Then he sank down into one of the open chairs opposite Alec. “What can I do for you this evening? Your summons indicated this was a matter of urgency.”

Alec didn’t bother beating around the bush. He waited only until both men were seated. Once they were, he looked from one to the other and calmly told them “I’m giving you two the courtesy of speaking to the both of you before I make my official report to the Clave.” That was enough to have them sitting up straighter in their seats. Alec gave them no time to ask any questions. “Yesterday afternoon I was attacked on my way home by a group of warlocks. They knocked me unconscious and took me to a small underground room where two vampires were also present. Together, using a spell that combined both their blood as well as my own, they proceeded to attempt to perform a spell that, if successful, would’ve wiped out the entire New York Institute.”

Watching the shock that spread over both of them was the slightest bit enjoyable. It was rare Alec managed to surprise Raphael with anything. Especially strong enough to get it to show through on his face. As for Lorenzo, well, Alec was just petty enough to get some enjoyment out of anything that threw the man off.

“I was part of the team that rescued him,” Magnus said into the quiet of the room. His voice was lower, and just barely concealed the rage Alec knew he still felt. “We were barely able to get to him in time. A minute more, and each and every shadowhunter from the New York Institute, plus a few more connected to Alexander, would be dead right now.”

Any signs of the usual posturing or animosity that existed when Magnus and Lorenzo were in the same room were gone in the blink of an eye. Not for the first time, Alec found himself thinking that the two could be a dangerous pair if they actually started to get along a little.

“You have them detained?” Raphael asked. He looked to Magnus for a moment, but the question was clearly directed toward Alec. Of all the people Alec had to deal with, he had to say that Raphael was one of his favorites. The man didn’t take any of Alec’s shit no matter what. But nor did he give Alec _extra_ shit just because he was with Magnus. Their relationship existed outside of business. Raphael was there to do what was best for his people.

Alec nodded his head in answer. “We do. I haven’t checked on them yet, however. I just returned to the Institute myself about ten minutes ago. I wanted to wait for the both of you before I went down there.”

“Then we should go and check with them before we continue our discussion further,” Lorenzo suggested.

It was what Alec had known was coming, and it was the smart choice. This way Raphael and Lorenzo would be able to see that their people had been treated fairly. That needed to be established first before anything else. Alec knew that, and he knew that Magnus understood it as well though he might not _like_ it.

Magnus and Alec rose together in a move that Alec hoped looked somewhat smooth. With Magnus right there, it gave Alec an excuse to slip an arm around Magnus’ back, and he hoped to Raziel that neither Raphael nor Lorenzo could tell that Alec had to lean against Magnus, or see how he gripped at Magnus’ jacket to pull himself up. Magnus, bless him, used his magic again to brace behind Alec and give him something to lean against so he wouldn’t just fall right back down into the chair. A distinct possibility for one moment there.

However, Alec managed to make it to his feet in the end. A look toward Lorenzo showed that the warlock likely hadn’t noticed anything. But Raphael’s eyes were sharp on Alec, visibly assessing him as they ran over him. When he lifted his gaze back toward their faces, Magnus gave a small shake of his head, a silent dismissal that Raphael respected.

“If you’ll follow us,” Magnus said, gesturing for them as he and Alec started forward.

Raphael walked right behind them out the door, with Lorenzo after him, and he waited until they were in the hall and Lorenzo had moved up on Magnus’ side to make his own move to Alec’s free side. There, Raphael shot him another look, and he lowered his voice to a pitch Alec almost didn’t catch. “Why do I get the feeling you should still be in bed?”

“If it were up to Magnus, I would be,” Alec murmured back. He kept his voice just the barest breath of sound. Years of practice with sound-enhancing runes had taught Alec and Jace how to barely murmur words so that only they would be able to hear one another with those runes going. It was a good practice when talking with vampires or wolves who had enhanced hearing.

The huff Raphael gave somehow perfectly portrayed the eye roll Alec couldn’t see yet knew was there. He didn’t say anything else, though. A fact which Alec was more than grateful for. The last thing he wanted was to try and talk as he led the group through the Institute to the nearest elevator. Especially when quite a few sets of eyes were on them while they walked past. Moving was already becoming difficult enough as it was. He wasn’t sure he could add talking on top of it.

Once they reached the elevator, Alec stepped forward from Magnus long enough to put his hand on the pad and let himself be scanned. Then, with a final code punched in, the doors opened and the group stepped inside.

The ride down was silent. No one said anything as they moved, nor as they arrived. They just let Alec and Magnus lead the way out of the elevator, past the guards on either side of the door who nodded at Alec as he went.

This wasn’t the floor that Magnus had been held on when he’d been stuck in Valentine’s body. Nor was it the one where they’d held the actual Valentine when he’d been here. Alec was grateful for that. Right at the moment they didn’t need the reminder. Not that the reminders in here were likely any better, no matter how much time had passed since these rooms had last been used.

The cells in this section of the Institute were meant to hold Downworlder prisoners. Much as Alec hated that, hated that they had a whole section where he knew Downworlders had been unjustly held and likely tortured, he couldn’t bring himself to just get rid of them. Even if others had asked for it. Alec knew that some in his Cabinet felt that keeping these was a sign of a refusal to change their ways and work toward a better future.

But, equality didn’t mean turning a blind eye to Downworlder crime. Being treated equally meant both the good and the bad. Some Downworlders were still going to commit crimes, the same as some shadowhunters were still going to commit crimes. Alec wanted to be prepared to hold any of them. Which was why his Institute had cells with runed cuffs meant to block any angelic power – cancel any runes that might be in use. He also had cells with cuffs meant for warlocks, and ones meant for werewolves, and ones for vampires. Nothing that would _harm_ them. Only ones that would help detain them. And to make sure that that was all they did, he’d enlisted Magnus’ help in examining and correcting them.

The cells in front of them showed the four warlocks, each held in their own cell, each wearing a pair of cuffs – though Alec knew that they’d only had two pairs of warlock cuffs. The two vampires were being held as well in individual cells. All of them were separated, cuffed, with no way to get out or try anything, and yet Alec couldn’t quite help the shiver that ran down his spine when those eyes landed on him.

Magnus’ hand tightened on Alec’s arm.

“As you can see, they’re all whole and alive,” Magnus said, and his voice had gone flat in a way that promised so much danger.

A warm tingle built inside of Alec, echoed up through the mark on his chest, and he knew a second before the voice spoke who was here.

“Unfortunately.” Gabriel’s voice echoed through the room. If Alec had thought that Magnus’ tone was dangerous, it was nothing on the spark in Gabriel’s voice. He sounded like he would personally enjoy making each and every one of these people hurt.

Alec turned toward the sound of that voice along with everyone else. He felt his heart stutter in his chest at the sight of Gabriel casually leaning against one of the stone columns off to the left. He looked… good. Really good. Alec wasn’t sure what he’d expected, if some part of him had perhaps expected to see something different about Gabriel now that they knew the truth about him.

He just looked like himself, though. He was in patrol clothes, which meant dark jeans and a thigh holster that made Alec understand Magnus’ reaction a little more when _he_ wore one, a dark green shirt, and a black leather jacket over it all with the sleeves pushed up to show off the runes on his arms. The adamas staff he preferred was strapped to his back and extended to its full length instead of retracted down and kept at his hip like normal. He wore two seraph blades at his waist.

Gabriel looked dangerous, and good, and _there_. Up until now Alec hadn’t realized just how much a part of him had worried that he was going to be wrong and he actually _wouldn’t_ see Gabriel again.

Without thinking about it, Alec found himself breathing out a soft “You’re here. “ It wasn’t the most intelligent of greetings, yet it was all he could think of to say. He didn’t think anything of the two looking on who might hear and read more into it than he wanted them to.

Gabriel’s eyebrows went up in what was probably meant to be a cool, almost mocking look – if Alec hadn’t been able to see the emotion in his eyes. The way they swept over Alec like he was checking on him. “So are you.”

There was nothing for Alec to read into that. Gabriel said nothing else, and there was nothing else that Alec or Magnus could say. Not while they were here to handle business.

Though it was one of the hardest things he’d had to do, something that Alec absolutely _loathed_ , he had to push aside what _he_ wanted and once more focus on the problem at hand. There was too much happening right now for him to be able to brush things off. Though he was tempted to nudge Magnus away from him and toward Gabriel. Just to try and at least pin him in place until they could talk to him again.

Alec missed the way that Gabriel flinched, or how he softened a little, too busy turning back to look toward the two leaders standing in front of him. Lorenzo had turned back from examining his people, and he didn’t hesitate to start speaking once Alec was facing him. “I’d like a chance to speak with them before we progress any further.”

“You’re more than welcome to be present with them when they’re questioned and their statements taken,” Alec answered plainly. He wasn’t going to allow more, just as he wouldn’t allow more if one of his shadowhunters was about to be questioned about something like this.

It didn’t look like Lorenzo was going to be happy with that. “I’d like the chance to make sure that my people are well and haven’t been… coerced into anything.”

The fact that Lorenzo dared to say that right to Alec’s face – Alec, the one who was the _victim_ here – was galling, and it took a massive amount of effort for Alec to swallow down the bitter words that wanted to tumble free. He had to quickly throw a hand up toward both Magnus and Gabriel to keep them from responding. He’d felt Magnus tense, and he’d seen Gabriel straightening up from out of the corner of his eye.

As little as Alec liked it, Lorenzo’s response wasn’t without justification. Shadowhunters had rarely shown themselves worthy of any kind of trust.

“I understand your concerns, Mr. Rey,” Alec said calmly. He drew his hand in and let it rest over Magnus’. “However, there are protocols in place for situations such as this, and one of those is that no one side goes in alone to speak with our prisoners until an initial questioning has been completed. Your people were captured, brought to the Institute cells, and detained here until I was able to summon you both to come. You will have every opportunity to speak with them alone later if you so wish. For now, I’m going to have one of my security team go in to take their statements and begin their questioning. If you’d like to be a part of it, you’re more than welcome to join them, or to stand here and supervise.”

“I’d like to be in there with them,” Raphael said, cutting off whatever Lorenzo had to say.

Alec nodded at him. “I’ll make sure to arrange it.” Turning back towards the guards at the door, Alec lifted his hand and made a gesture toward them. The one on the right, one of his senior security agents by the name of Rene Dewridge, immediately trotted forward, leaving the young man on the other side at the door. She came right up to Alec and fell into an at-ease pose the instant she was close. “Sir.”

“Call up to Underhill and let him know we’re ready to question the prisoners,” Alec told her. “I want him in charge of this personally. Mr. Rey and Mr. Santiago are going to accompany him in with their respective people. While they wait, they’re to be afforded every courtesy, and I want them escorted up to my office once they’re finished.” He knew he could trust Rene to get that done. She was a good soldier, a good person, and exceptionally open-minded for a shadowhunter.

Rene gave a sharp nod. “Yes, sir. Of course.”

While she went back towards the elevator to make her call, Alec once more twisted himself to face the others. His body loudly protested the movement. It made Alec’s voice a bit more clipped than he wanted it to be as he addressed the others. “If you two don’t mind waiting here, my Head of Security will be here in a moment to go in with you and question your people. Once you’re done, you can ask Underhill or Dewridge, the woman I just spoke with, and they’ll bring you back upstairs to my office.”

“You’re not staying?” Lorenzo asked, one eyebrow going up.

With a steadying breath, Alec shook his head. “No. I need to make my own report for the Clave.” And sit down before his body gave in and just straight up collapsed on him. Alec’s muscles were trembling more and more with each passing moment. The mundane pain reliever Magnus had given him had taken off some of the edge, but every second that Alec was on his feet, he felt the benefits of it less and less.

Alec liked to think it was a sign of just how far they’d all come when neither Raphael nor Lorenzo questioned being left down there without Alec or Magnus there with them. Though maybe that had something to do with the fact it was _Andrew_ who was coming down. Either way, they agreed with him, and then Alec was free to turn around and start making his way back toward the elevator with far too much help from Magnus.

It startled him when he felt Gabriel fall into step behind them. The archangel followed after the two of them without a word. At least until they were inside the elevator and the doors were shut.

In an instant, Gabriel was right there at Alec’s side, reaching out to him with hands that were both gentle and strong. “What in Dad’s name are you doing out of bed already, you dumbass?”

Alec gave himself only a second to slump against the both of them. He closed his eyes and let out a breath that was shakier than he wanted to admit to. “You always say the nicest things.”

“I’ll save the nice things for when you’re not being stupid,” Gabriel fired back.

The elevator rose higher, and Alec knew he didn’t have time to continue to indulge himself. Another deep breath, and then he pushed himself to stand up straight once more, to not lean against anyone any more than he had to. It wasn’t easy. Every inch of him wanted to curl up between these two and just shut off for a little while and let them handle everything. He didn’t want to have to think, let alone _move_.

Of course, life didn’t work that way. Alec knew that. Which was why he was prepared when the elevator doors opened up once more.

He didn’t catch the way that Gabriel opened his mouth like he was going to speak, how he wanted to move forward and help, or how Magnus gave a small shake of his head to stop him.

Together, the trio started back toward Alec’s office. Alec focused mostly on putting one foot in front of the other. He let Magnus steer them. If he had to focus on both at once he wasn’t sure he’d make it there.

Somehow the three of them managed to make it back to Alec’s office without being stopped by a single person. How, Alec had no idea. By that point things hurt enough and his body felt drained enough that the world was a bit hazy. All Alec knew was that he was in his office and the wards were once more wrapped around him. He felt them settle in at the same time that Magnus adjusted his grip on Alec, taking more of his weight. “Come on, Alexander. Just a little further and we’ll get you down on the couch to rest for a little while.”

Alec tried to mumble something, to protest, but then other hands were there as well and Alec found himself carefully helped forward toward the comfortable couch he kept in his office. He knew he should protest – insist that he could handle walking on his own. If any of his shadowhunters saw him right then it would destroy the image he tried to present to them. Alec didn’t want anyone seeing him being so _weak_. He should’ve been just _fine_.

Those thoughts cut off when they finally reached the couch and Alec had to go through the process of _bending_ and getting his aching body stretched out. It was embarrassing to realize he probably wouldn’t have managed it without the two helping him.

“Just relax, kiddo,” Gabriel said in that gentle voice that only ever came out in private. He was down by Alec’s feet, carefully lifting them up onto the couch, and Magnus’ hands were at Alec’s head and shoulders, settling him against a silky soft pillow.

Magnus stroked his fingers over Alec’s brow. “You have a little while before anyone is going to come looking for you. It’ll take time for them to go through each interview if Lorenzo and Raphael insist on being present for each one. You can take the time to sit and relax before they come back.”

“You should still be in bed,” Gabriel chimed in. He hadn’t moved from Alec’s feet, though he’d sat down on the edge of the couch right at Alec’s ankles. He wasn’t leaving, though. That was all that mattered to Alec.

Either Gabriel read something of that on Alec’s face or, angel-forbid, he’d picked it up in Alec’s thoughts. Whichever one it was, Gabriel grimaced at him, and then huffed. “Calm down. I’m not going anywhere. I do, and look what happens! You’re up and wandering around, pushing yourself until you’re almost passing out.”

“Did you honestly expect anything different?” Magnus asked. He’d gone down to one knee near the head of the couch, allowing him to continue stroking at Alec’s hair.

Gabriel shot Alec a disgusted look. “No.”

Alec chose to ignore their joking words. They didn’t matter. Not while Gabriel was _here_. Their time would be better spent trying to say something, anything, before Gabriel left them again. The fact that he was here at all was amazing and something they needed to take advantage of.

The core of this strange bond between them gave a warm little quiver. Alec watched as everything about Gabriel shifted into something softer and so much warmer. Like a bit of his masks fell away for a moment. “Rest, Alec,” Gabriel said softly. He reached down to curl his hand around Alec’s ankle and he gave a small squeeze. “I’ll still be here afterward, I promise. I owe you guys that.” His eyes lifted and found Magnus’. “Both of you.”

Hearing Gabriel promise to stay eased some of that tight fear inside Alec’s chest. The one that insisted that they needed to hash this out now. Gabriel wouldn’t promise something if he didn’t intend on delivering. That was just who he was. If he gave his word on something, it was as good as done.

That meant Alec was free to breathe out a little and to let himself relax. “Just a few minutes.” Already, his voice was heavy and his eyes were drifting closed. He wasn’t going to sleep – didn’t need to, really. He just needed a bit to not move, not think, not do anything except lay there with the two people who mattered the most to him. “I just need to close my eyes for a few minutes, that’s all.”

“Here,” Gabriel said. Something curved underneath Alec, lifting his top half carefully up from the couch. “Climb on up, kitty cat. He’ll rest better with you there.”

Magnus didn’t hesitate to do exactly as Gabriel suggested. Alec happily let himself be held by whatever it was Gabriel was using to lift him. Once Magnus was sitting down, Alec was lowered back down so that his upper half was cradled on a pillow on Magnus’ lap, allowing him to press up against his boyfriend a little more as well as not lay flat – which eased some of the ache.

When Alec peeked his eyes open, it was in just enough time to watch the bands of blue that went under his feet, lifting them up as well. He knew without looking that Magnus would be grinning. “You hop up, too, _kasih_. He’ll rest better with you there, too.”

It was a bit amusing, and a little bit sad, to see the surprise on Gabriel’s face. That look only lasted for a moment. Then Gabriel grinned and he suddenly vanished from his spot, appearing underneath Alec’s legs, _teleporting_ himself instead of just ducking under Alec’s raised feet and twisting his hips. _Lazy_.

The grin Gabriel wore grew. He poked at Alec’s ankle as they were lowered back down to rest in his lap. “Watch who you’re calling lazy, bucko.”

“Stay out of my head and you won’t hear it,” Alec fired back. He was smiling, too, though. Having the both of them there definitely was helping him to relax. Even though he knew Gabriel could vanish in the blink of an eye there was something comforting about knowing that the man was pinned down underneath his feet like this.

Magnus started to stroke his hand over Alec’s hair once more. He used his nails to add a little scratch to it, one that had Alec melting just a little. At the same time, Alec felt warm hands start to rub at his ankle and up toward his calf, carefully bypassing the bruise that was throbbing on the outside of Alec’s right calf.

Bending low, Magnus pressed a kiss to Alec’s forehead. “Stop worrying for a moment, Alexander. We have you. You’ve got time to relax.”

“Go ahead and turn your brain off for a bit, we’ll keep watch,” Gabriel said, his voice once more in that gentle cadence that poured over Alec like warm honey. “I’ve got my eye on everything. Your siblings are on patrol right now with Mattie, so you know they’re safe, and I can hear everything going on in the interviews. I’ll make sure you’re up and ready before any of them get near you.”

That was reassuring. Alec didn’t want to sleep, he wasn’t up for that, but having the two here with him, and resting his body on the couch, maybe it’d give the pain reliever a chance to kick in enough to ease some of the pain from what he’d just put himself through.

Alec closed his eyes, and he sighed away his tension, allowing himself a moment to just relax.


	6. Chapter 6

They got almost fifteen minutes of calm before the world decided to disturb them once more. For those fifteen minutes, the office was blissfully quiet. Magnus was able to sit there and just bask in Alexander’s warm, comfortable weight in his lap. He hated that they had to settle for doing this here – that they had to be here at all. Alec should be at _home_ safely behind the wards of his loft. Not here dealing with all of this nonsense. Especially when he was so sore and exhausted.

It’d been hard to walk with him and feel just how hard it was for Alec to move. The signs of pain and exhaustion wouldn’t be clear to anyone who didn’t know him or wasn’t touching him. But Magnus knew. He’d watched Alec pull on the masks necessary to come here and deal with this. He’d felt the tremble in Alec’s arm each time he moved wrong, stepped too hard, breathed too deeply. The mundane pain meds weren’t working as well as Magnus would’ve liked.

If Alec’s internal energies didn’t level out soon, Magnus was going to toy around with a few magic-less potions that might be able to better help.

For the moment, however, all he could do was sit here and hope that his presence offered some sort of comfort. Later, once business was done and Magnus could convince Alec to step away for a little longer, he’d be able to take his shadowhunter home and take care of him properly.

 _Hopefully, with a little help_ , Magnus thought to himself, sneaking a look at the other occupant on the couch.

Gabriel had stayed where he’d put himself just like he’d promised. He sat on the couch that Magnus had long ago magically extended, Alec’s feet in his lap, and rubbed lightly at Alec’s ankles and calves like this was all he intended on doing. He hadn’t shown any signs of being impatient to get up, of being uncomfortable or wanting to leave. He just sat there and kept lightly rubbing at Alec’s legs, eyes closed, and a small smile on his lips.

Meanwhile, despite his protests, Alec had fallen into a light sleep that Magnus knew from experience he could wake easily and quickly from.

They probably should’ve used this time to talk a little despite Gabriel’s reassurances that he’d be here once things were all done and dealt with. If it were just himself, Magnus wouldn’t worry as strongly about Gabriel staying or going. He was far too used to people walking away from him. This wouldn’t be the first time, and it wouldn’t be the last. The fact that Alec hadn’t, that he continued to stick around even when _Magnus_ had walked away from him, when Magnus had pushed and forced him back even while clutching him close, well, it was a miracle. One that Magnus knew better than to squander.

So no, it wasn’t himself that Magnus was worried for. It was _Alec_. Because Alec, too, had spent his life being pushed away by too many people. Shoved back, pushed to the side, continually being passed by until he was needed, and then he was berated for not being there before that and stopping the thing from ever happening. It broke Magnus’ heart each time he saw it happen. And when he saw Alec just _take it_.

Magnus knew his boyfriend often thought of himself as too much. Or not enough. He loved so deeply and with everything he was. While Magnus adored it, others found it too intense, or they only wanted it when it was convenient for them. When they were in the mood to be smothered in love and protection. The rest of the time, Alec was forced to keep it locked up. To control the ferocity with which he loved.

If Gabriel walked away from that, away from Alec and that vast love he was offering, away from Magnus and the vulnerable bits of himself he was putting out here, well, the two men would still have one another in the end, yes, but their life would feel emptier.

“Patrols just got back,” Gabriel murmured suddenly. When Magnus looked over at him again, he found Gabriel still sitting there with his eyes closed, though the smile on his lips was gone. He opened his eyes and looked over at Magnus, and he looked… sad.

Abruptly, Magnus remembered he was sitting here with someone who could read his mind, and he stalled for a moment with the realization that everything he’d just been thinking had likely been heard by the very being he was thinking about.

One corner of Gabriel’s mouth twitched up just a little in a sad excuse for a smile. “Like I told your boy here, I usually don’t hear too much. I’m just sort of tuned in right now, and you guys are still stressed enough you’re kinda _loud_.”

“ _Our_ boy,” Magnus corrected him. Because that was much easier to focus on than the fact that Gabriel had likely just heard all Magnus’ thoughts, feelings, and ridiculous _pining_.

A soft huff came from below. “Can you guys at least choose a term that makes me sound less like your child?”

Alec’s voice was a bit sardonic, and yet full of a love that never failed to light Magnus’ up in ways no one else had ever managed. Warmth and love blossomed in Magnus’ chest. He grinned, and he was treated to a matching grin on Gabriel’s face. The two shared a look over the top of Alec and then turned to look down at him. Magnus couldn’t quite resist threading his fingers through Alec’s hair to give a light tug. “Are you saying you’re not my boy, Alexander?”

“Ooooh,” Gabriel said, grinning even more when Alec flushed. “His brain just went to white noise at that.”

Alec glared at the two of them even as he blushed. “Why do I love you two again?” he asked, pulling his feet in and carefully pushing himself up off Magnus.

Discreetly, Magnus used a bit of magic along with his hands to help brace Alec up and make it easier for him to rise to a sitting position. He did Alec the favor of saying nothing about the way his face paled once he was upright. Nor did Magnus call him on the fact that Alec kept on going, rising up to his feet, no matter how much Magnus wanted to yank him back down. This was how Alec needed to deal with things. So long as he wasn’t doing himself serious damage, Magnus could let him have this bit of control. Especially after so much had been taken from him recently.

“You love us because you have impeccable taste, darling,” Magnus teased him.

To his delight, he found that Alec wasn’t the only one blushing now. When Magnus looked over at Gabriel, he found the other man ducking his head a little, and the faintest hint of pink in the tops of his cheeks.

He didn’t get a chance to say anything about it, though, or to continue their teasing. Gabriel shuffled in his seat, and then he deliberately sank down into a slouch, his body going loose and relaxed in a way that made it seem like he was lounging on some sort of throne instead of a couch. The blush faded off his cheeks, and his lips curved up into that familiar smirk. The one that it’d taken Magnus a while to realize was a mask.

Magnus knew even before Gabriel said the words what was coming next.

“Your siblings are on their way here,” Gabriel warned Alec. He lifted a hand and wiggled his fingers Alec’s way, his smirk growing. “Want me to delay them?”

It wasn’t hard to see that Alec was honestly tempted by the offer. He froze right alongside his desk when Gabriel spoke, and Magnus watched the way that Alec’s back tensed, how he closed his eyes and drew in a breath as if to gather his control. Then his eyes opened, his shoulders went back, and everything that made up _Alexander_ was gone underneath the cloak of _Institute Head_ and _Archbishop_.

“How close are the interviews to being done?” he asked Gabriel. His tone was firmer now, with no signs of the pain Magnus knew he was feeling.

Gabriel tilted his head like he was thinking. “Hm. About fifteen minutes, I’d say, if they keep at the same pace. Give or take a few.”

Alec nodded like that was what he’d been expecting. “Then let them come. Better I handle this now than later.”

It was hard not to get up and go over to Alec as he sat down at the desk. Magnus knew from experience that Alec wouldn’t want him over there. Not while he was dealing with his siblings. The fact that he hadn’t tried to discreetly boot Magnus and Gabriel out already said a lot about how he was feeling at the moment. Normally he tried to keep Magnus from seeing him argue with his siblings. Especially after that last time when they’d had a family dinner at the loft, and the siblings had gotten into a little squabble after Maryse left. Somehow that squabble had ended up in a shouting match. One that had resulted in Magnus stepping in to defend Alec with some rather choice words.

Alec hadn’t been too happy with the words Magnus used, but he also had a hard time staying mad at Magnus, which meant he was fine with it before the night was out.

The others, however…it’d been a blissfully quiet week at the loft.

None of that was to say that Magnus didn’t love the other members of their family. He honestly did. Isabelle had become not just a friend but almost like a little sister to him. Someone he could talk with, laugh with, shop with, and who he knew could kick ass, yet he couldn’t quite keep from wanting to look out for her. Jace and he had the kind of friendship that was half insults to one another and half an understanding about their shared love for Alec. As for Clary, well, Magnus had watched her grow up. Of course he cared about her.

Nonetheless, Magnus could absolutely love them all while still be driven absolutely insane by their antics. More specifically, the blatant disrespect for any sort of authority that Alexander might wield.

It was as if they thought that they were above following any authority simply because that authority came in the form of their brother. Like somehow being related to him meant they didn’t have to listen to him. They acted like it was just their big brother trying to stop them from having fun when, in reality, it was their Institute Head giving them orders that they had no issue blatantly disobeying.

Magnus and Alec had talked about it a time or two. Not in-depth, because Magnus wasn’t going to push on something like that. How Alec handled his siblings and his people was his business. It wasn’t for Magnus to tell him what to do. Instead, Magnus did his best to just be there. To listen and support and offer ideas when he could.

That was all he could do now, he knew. Though that didn’t mean it was easy to just sit there and say nothing when the door to Alec’s office suddenly opened without a single knock.

Jace was first, marching straight up to Alec’s desk, with Isabelle right on his heels. Clary was nowhere in sight – which was probably a good idea. No matter how much she and Alec had started to get along, there were still too many times that they set one another off. Judging by the scowl on Jace’s face, this conversation was already going to be interesting enough.

Thankfully, Isabelle spoke up first, and her concern for her brother overrode everything else at the moment. “ _Hermano_.” The relief was evident in her voice, as well as a thick layer of love. She hurried up to the desk and around it, and Alec shifted in his chair so that he could lift his good arm and curl it around her.

Being able to sit there and watch the way that Alec closed his eyes, the clear love on his face, was a kind of privilege Magnus never took for granted. He knew this wasn’t a side of his boyfriend that many were allowed to see.

The two siblings pulled back, and then Jace was there, and though their hug was shorter, it was no less full of warmth.

Moments like these reminded Magnus that these three truly loved one another no matter what kind of argument they had. They had a deep bond that came from shared experiences, shared pain, and a lifetime of memories together.

“What’re you doing back?” Jace demanded as he drew back. Though the words were sharp, the love he felt was just as evident as Isabelle’s had been. Jace just framed his differently than her. “Magnus said you were still resting.”

Actually, Magnus had firmly told Jace and Isabelle both earlier that Alec was resting – at the time, he had been – and that they weren’t going to come over there and disturb him. He’d also plainly told them that _he_ would let them know when it was safe to come over, and if they tried to do it before that, the wards would keep them out. Then he’d hung up on them.

To Magnus’ surprise, Alec didn’t respond to the sharpness of Jace’s words. At least not in the way that any of them expected. He sat back in his chair, one arm casually resting in his lap, and he fixed them with a flat, serious look. One that Magnus had seen him use on new recruits who had done something to piss him off. “I _was_ resting,” Alec said calmly. “Now, I’m here.”

“And you didn’t call us?”

Isabelle’s question had Alec raising an eyebrow at her. “No. I had things to take care of first, and you were already out on patrol when I got here.” He didn’t elaborate further on that. Something which surprised Magnus. He’d been witness to Alec scrambling to explain himself to others before, as if he had to justify his own actions to anyone and everyone who asked, far too used to it to even think of protesting. He did it with Magnus, even. Something which broke Magnus’ heart a little each time it happened.

The look Isabelle and Jace exchanged then was one that Magnus only caught a glimpse of. Still, that little glimpse was enough to have his hackles rising. His brows drew down, and his eyes narrowed on the two in front of him. That was a look Magnus had seen before – one he _hated_. It was a look that said as clear as day that _Alec’s being unreasonable again._

Gabriel spoke up suddenly, cutting off the sharp words that were ready to spill past Magnus’ lips. “You know, I’m pretty sure I told you two to be somewhere after patrol.”

Either Jace and Isabelle had been so caught up in coming to see Alec that they hadn’t paid attention to the rest of the room – a surprising thing for shadowhunters, no matter their emotional state – or Gabriel had been doing something to keep them shielded over here. Either way, the two spun around, clear surprise on their faces when they saw Gabriel and Magnus.

Surprise transformed into anger on Jace’s face rather quickly. “I don’t take orders from you.”

“Apparently, you don’t feel the need to take them from anyone, seeing as how I’ve left specific instructions with Andrew for what should happen and who’s in charge if I’m ever out of commission,” Alec chimed in, bringing Jace’s focus back to him. Isabelle’s, too. Only this time, Alec didn’t just sit back in his chair and let them speak their mind. Something about Gabriel speaking up seemed to have pushed Alec to his limit. He sat forward, barely smothering his wince as he did, and he folded his arms on the desk, hands clasped in front of him.

Magnus wondered if either of the two looking on realized that that pose was as much about easing the aches in other places as it was a power move.

“Alec,” Isabelle tried to interject, and her tone had taken on that softer edge, the one that she used when she was trying to mediate. “We didn’t come in here to fight. We just wanted to come check on you. Jace could feel you were back, but he couldn’t feel anything else. We were worried, that’s all.”

If it were anyone other than Isabelle, Magnus would’ve applauded that kind of master manipulation.

Alec didn’t even bat an eyelash at her words. His face stayed calm, his masks firmly in place. “I might find that easier to believe if you didn’t come barging in here like this was _your_ office, ready to fight.” His eyes cut over to Jace. “Or if I couldn’t feel how pissed off you’ve been since practically the moment I woke up.”

A lesser person might’ve cowed underneath that look. Isabelle certainly went quiet. However, Jace only stood up straighter, and though Magnus didn’t have a clear view of his face, he could tell by the tense set of the rest of him that the man was glaring at his parabatai. “So what, we’re not allowed to be concerned about you now either?”

“Of course you’re allowed to be concerned about me,” Alec shot back.

Jace crossed his arms over his chest. “Are you sure about that? Because it didn’t sound like that before.”

And that was the crux of all this. The thing Alec had been bracing himself for. He’d known it would come to this, Magnus realized. Alec had known that these two weren’t going to be happy with him, and so he’d sat there and silently provoked them into getting down to the heart of things. He’d set it up for Jace to get mad enough at him to speak his mind. That was why he’d been hard from the instant they came through the door.

Now that they’d neatly opened the door to the topic Alec had been waiting for, his demeanor shifted a little. Firm, still, but with a hint of gentleness at the edges. “I never said you couldn’t care about what happens to me,” Alec said calmly. “Just because I didn’t tell you about the threats against me doesn’t mean that I don’t want you to care. I just didn’t see any need to worry you.”

Whether it was because of their bond, or if it was just the way they worked, Jace seemed to calm a little right along with Alec. He let go of some of the anger. Enough to let a hint of the hurt seep in. “I’m your parabatai, Alec. The person you’re _supposed_ to tell these things to. But lately, it seems you don’t tell me anything.”

It was hard not to get up and go to Alec at that moment. When he closed his eyes and his pain was briefly visible on his face. Magnus had to clench his hands tight to keep from going over there and smoothing those lines off his face. He could feel the way that Gabriel tensed right along with him, though he couldn’t tear his gaze away from Alec to look at the other man.

All of them were stuck there, just watching. Isabelle included.

Alec opened his eyes again, and at that moment, he could’ve been mistaken for a warlock if it wasn’t for his runes – the aged look in his eyes was far beyond the years his body showed. That look wasn’t born of _years_ but of _experiences_ , things that had aged Alec faster and farther than he ever should’ve had to.

“I’m not going to sit here and point out the hypocrisy of that statement,” Alec said slowly, his voice low and yet steady. Firm. “I tell you the important things in my life. Things that relate to me as a person. But, you’re right. When it comes to things that pertain to me as the Institute Head or my duties as an Archbishop, no. I don’t tell you everything. Not because I don’t trust you or because I want to keep you out of my life. But, there are just some things you don’t need to know.”

“Someone threatening your life is something I don’t need to know?” Jace asked.

A small grimace crossed Alec’s face. He shrugged one shoulder and looked up at his parabatai. “Honestly? No. Like I told you before, I didn’t really think it had to be said. Being Head of an Institute comes with risks. Ones that I was trained and prepared for. Being Head means being a target for anyone with a grudge against shadowhunters or this Institute. Being the Head of a progressive Institute set on equality only makes it worse. Add in being the child of Maryse and Robert Lightwood?” One corner of Alec’s lips curved up in a smile that was dripping in bitterness. “I survived my first assassination attempt when I was _four_.”

Pain struck Magnus like a blow to the gut. It stole his breath away and left him wanting to double over underneath it. Four? _Four_?

Gabriel made a pained sound, while Isabelle gasped, and Jace actually took a step back before snapping up straight again. “ _What_?”

“I didn’t understand it back then, but there were a lot of people who believed Mom and Dad got off easy after the war.” Alec’s eyes flashed over to Magnus, a hint of guilt there like somehow their actions were _Alec’s_ fault. Then he shook his head and sat back in his chair. He folded his hands together in his lap once more. “I’ve survived quite a few attempts on my life. At one point, I honestly believed that was part of why you became my parabatai, to help watch my back against those. It took me a long time to realize that you two had no idea what was going on. When I did, I talked to Mom, and she explained to me that this wasn’t something most shadowhunters live with. That it was the burden of those in charge.”

 _Heavy is the head that wears the crown_. Isabelle’s description of Alec seemed so fitting in moments like these.

Sighing, Alec reached up and wiped a hand over his face, and for that brief moment, his exhaustion showed. “I wasn’t trying to upset you guys. This is just… it’s normal for me. It’s the price I pay for being who I am, one I’ll gladly pay over and over again if it means being able to accomplish the things I’m doing. And I won’t fight with you guys about it.” That last part was said firmly, with something final to it that made it clear he meant what he said. “Even if I can’t get you to respect my authority, I need you to respect this.”

The silence in the room felt heavy. Jace said not a word, and Magnus couldn’t entirely read him, not from this angle. But Isabelle’s grief was easy to see. “Alec…”

He cut her off with a raised hand. “I don’t have time to debate how much you guys swear you respect my authority. Right now, I have other things to deal with.” Alec’s eyes darted over to Gabriel, and he gave a small nod at whatever he saw there. Magnus watched as Alec straightened up a bit more. “Lorenzo and Raphael are on their way back upstairs now. I need to deal with them, and then handle alerting the Clave to what’s been going on and deal with _them_. We can argue about the rest of this later. Go get some dinner, go to your training, and then get some rest. I’ll contact you tomorrow when I come back.”

Jace turned to look at Isabelle, reaching out to lay a hand on her arm. “I’ll catch up with you in a bit, Iz.”

Before she could say anything, or leave, Alec cut between them. “Both of you.” When Jace spun around to stare at him, Alec met his gaze head on. “You don’t have the clearance to be in here for these meetings.” Then, in a softer voice, “There’s no battle here, parabatai. Not one you can fight.”

Magnus held his breath as he watched the two men face off. After everything that had happened between them, he was so sure Jace would snap in response to that. That he’d get angry and maybe fight or storm off. It wouldn’t be the first time one or the other had done that. But, to his surprise, Jace slumped a little and nodded. “You always were better at these fights.”

One corner of Alec’s mouth quirked up. “One of us had to be.” When that made Jace chuckle, Alec’s smile grew. “Go. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“You better.”

No more words were needed. With one last quick hug from Isabelle and a brief touch from Jace, the two were out the door.

It was just in time, too. Not even a full minute after they left, there was a knock at the door that heralded the return of the others. Alec, who had spent the last few moments visibly pulling himself under control once more, sat up straight in his seat and called out a firm “Come in!”

Gone was any sign of the softer side of Alexander. Though it had to hurt – both physically and mentally – all those parts of Alec were pushed down to make room for the leader he had to be right now. He sat proud and tall as Andrew came in, with Lorenzo and Raphael on his heels, all of them with somber expressions that told Magnus their detainees had given up the information on what they’d done. He didn’t have to read the reports in the folder that Andrew handed over to Alec. It was written all over their faces.

For one brief second, Alec closed his eyes, and Magnus knew he was trying to gather some sort of strength. Anything to help him through this.

“You got this,” Gabriel said softly, lowly. “We’re right here with you, Kiddo, and we’re not going anywhere.”

When Magnus shot the other being a surprised look, he didn’t expect Gabriel to smile at him.

“Don’t worry about it. They can’t hear us. Or see us.” Gabriel’s smile grew a little, and he looked back over to Alec, who still looked like he was reading what was in the folder while the others sat down. Though, Magnus was pretty sure his attention was more on them than it was on the folder. “I shielded us over here, so no one else knows we’re here except you, kiddo. We’ll stay out of the way, and mostly quiet. But this way, you don’t have to kick us out as you talk business.”

Magnus could hear the other words underneath that – the more important ones. _This way, you don’t have to be alone._ He’d known without having to be told that Alec would eventually have to send them out of the office for this meeting. Just as he’d known that Alec wouldn’t want to be alone.

It felt so easy, and yet so big, to reach out down the couch. To hold his hand out toward Gabriel and hope that the other man wouldn’t shy away from a touch Magnus was pretty sure the both of them needed. He only had a second to worry before warm fingers threaded through his. Gabriel met him halfway and clasped their hands together without a single ounce of hesitation. When Magnus snuck a look his way, he found Gabriel already watching him. The man, archangel, had a soft smile on his face. One that said _I’m right here_ just as much as his words to Alec had.

A slow, easy smile curved Magnus’ lips. It felt a little bit easier to turn back toward Alec and face whatever was coming with the steady comfort of Gabriel’s hand in his.

For now, the two of them could sit there together and hold on to one another while they silently supported Alec until it was time to gather him up and get him home where they could take care of him properly.

Magnus watched as Alec seemed to draw strength from their presence. He closed the folder in his hand and set it down carefully on his desk. Only then did he look up at the two men sitting across from him.

“All right,” Alec said slowly. “Here’s what I see happening…”

* * *

It took hours of sitting in Alec’s office before everything was finally dealt with. Hours that Magnus spent silently sitting underneath a ward that kept anyone from knowing he was there and trying to kick him out. The only downside that Magnus quickly realized was that hiding out over on the couch meant that there was no way for him to offer any sort of physical comfort. Which was what Alec so often craved when he was truly upset.

All they could do was sit and watch as Alec discussed what happened to him like it was just another case. Magnus and Gabriel held on to one another and watched Alec debate the crime and the punishment with Lorenzo and Raphael, and then again with the Clave officials on the video call.

The second half of that was what took longer than anything else. Of course, the Clave couldn’t make anything easy. The Inquisitor questioned Alec about everything he told her and about what he was going to do.

Magnus wasn’t surprised that Lorenzo had demanded the right to punish his own people. Though he _was_ surprised that Raphael _hadn’t_.

However, more than anything, what surprised him – and what he instantly felt guilty over being surprised at – was how hard Alec fought for that right. He pushed even when the Inquisitor tried to push back, citing laws as easily as breathing that backed up Lorenzo’s right to lay claim to his people for punishment. He didn’t let the Inquisitor bully him into anything but the solution that he’d agreed upon already.

Alec met the woman’s stare without flinching and stood his ground with the kind of barbed words Magnus was more used to hearing shadowhunters used _against_ his people rather than _in defense_ of them. “I know you might not be as familiar with the laws as I am, Madame Inquisitor, seeing as how they are rather new. But the recent documents we submitted to your office regarding Downworlder crimes clearly states in paragraph twelve, line four, that any crime committed by a Downworlder that doesn’t result in the death of a shadowhunter ‘ _can be tried by their own people, so long as agreed upon by three separate leaders of the Cabinet.’_ I have the signed document stating the agreement that Mr. Rey, Mr. Santiago, and myself have all come to, which I’ll be submitting along with my reports.”

The amount of pride Magnus felt in that moment was something he promised to show Alec at the first opportunity.

He’d always known that Alec was a great leader. One who would fight for them all. He’d seen it, time and time again. But a small part of Magnus had wondered sometimes – a dirty little voice that whispered terrible things into his ear – whether or not those convictions Alec spoke of would stand up when he was forced to face down his precious Clave. After all, that voice reminded him, it wouldn’t be the first time Alec came up to that wall and fell.

Seeing this, witnessing Alec’s strength, conviction, and absolute certainty that this was the right course, Magnus loved him even more.

By the time that Alec finally finished his call, he’d gotten everything he’d set out to get, though it clearly hadn’t won him any friends. The Inquisitor hadn’t inquired at all after Alec’s health beyond demanding a full report on her desk by tomorrow evening.

As soon as the call ended, there was no reason for Magnus to hold himself back anymore. No one else was in the office with them. Lorenzo and Raphael had long since left, and Andrew not long after them. It was just Alec, Magnus, and Gabriel left in there, and Magnus had no need to hold back in front of Gabriel.

Being able to reach out and touch Alec after so long watching him was a relief that left Magnus sighing happily. He went straight to the desk and held his hands out to Alec, who practically melted in against him. Alec turned his chair just enough that he was able to slump forward and bury his face against Magnus’ chest.

Magnus curled his arms around Alec to cradle the younger man almost protectively against him. He bent down just enough to press a kiss against the top of Alec’s head. “You were absolutely stunning, _sayang_. I am so proud of you.”

He was even prouder when Alec murmured against his shirt, “Can we go home?”

The fact that Alec was admitting that he needed to go home was equal parts amazing and worrying.

“Of course we can,” Magnus promised him instantly. He lifted his eyes, looking over his shoulder to where Gabriel was. The archangel had risen at some point and was strolling toward them, his expression broken open in a way that made Magnus ache a little to see. Magnus caught those amber eyes and let his own glamour drop so that gold met gold. Then he let go of Alec with one hand so he could hold it out Gabriel’s way. “Let’s go home, darlings.”

It felt like an enormous step when Gabriel reached out for him and took his hand again.

A soft brush of magic washed over them like a cool spring breeze. Rustling feathers echoed around them as Magnus blinked his eyes. In that blink, they went from Alec’s office to their bedroom in the loft. Alec was seated on the edge of the bed instead of his desk chair, while Magnus and Gabriel both stood there with him.

Gabriel kept on moving toward them without missing a beat at the location change. He followed the tug of Magnus’ hand until he was right there beside them. For someone with such a big personality, it was always a bit jarring to have him in close and be reminded that Gabriel was actually shorter than them. Not by much, at least on Magnus’ part. A few inches. Yet it was just enough for Magnus to let go of Gabriel’s hand, wrap that arm around him, and curl him into the hug with them.

For a second, Magnus wasn’t sure if Gabriel would go for it. But then he sighed, and his head tilted so that his temple was against Magnus’ shoulder. One hand went around Magnus’ back while the other came up to carefully thread in Alec’s hair. “You guys just couldn’t make this easy, could you?” Gabriel murmured at them.

“Not if it means you leaving,” Alec murmured back.

Gabriel’s chuckle was so soft Magnus felt it more than he heard it. He also felt as Gabriel turned his face in a bit more so that his nose was against Magnus’ clavicle. “I should leave.” The words were low, filled with an ache that practically throbbed through every word. “I should just wipe your memories and disappear and go somewhere else. It’d be better for you both.”

Magnus bit back the instinctive protest that wanted to spring to his lips. Not just at Gabriel leaving, but at the idea of him taking their memories of him.

He didn’t have to try and find the words to protest to it, anyway. Alec spoke up for both of them with that beautiful bravery of his. “Even if you felt you had to leave, I wouldn’t want to give up a single moment of my time with you. No matter what you think, my life’s been better for having you in it.”

“Both of ours have,” Magnus added in softly. He turned his head just enough that he could nuzzle against Gabriel’s hair, and he tightened his hold around the smaller man as if he’d be able to keep him here with that hold alone.

“You guys are such _saps_ ,” Gabriel said.

Magnus didn’t have the heart to tell him the snark he was likely going for sounded far more _fond_ than anything else. Instead, he gave both his darlings a squeeze just because he could, and he smiled. “So you’ve told us, many times,” he teased gently. “Now, I vote we all get a little more comfortable and continue this discussion in bed, after I’ve had a chance to check all your bandages, Alexander.”

The reminder of Alec’s injuries was enough to quickly get Gabriel on his side. In short order – and with a bit of magic to change Alec into his preferred sleep shorts – they had Alec in the center of the bed with Magnus and Gabriel on either side of him, checking and rebandaging his injuries. It didn’t escape Magnus’ notice that Alec had leaned a bit heavily on Gabriel when it came to getting into the bed. Or that he’d latched on to the other man’s jacket when Magnus checked the bandage on his leg.

When Magnus finished with that wound, he had to smother his smile at the sight of the two men holding hands. In his own subtle way, Alec was making damn sure that Gabriel wasn’t leaving the bed.

Of course, the _subtle_ part didn’t last because while Alec might be talented at that, he had no real patience for it when it came to their relationship. Apparently, that included Gabriel, too, which made Magnus want to smile even more.

“Aren’t you gonna get comfortable, too?” Alec asked bluntly, pushing his fingers up just enough to poke at the cuff of Gabriel’s leather jacket.

Gabriel looked down at his clothes and then back up at Alec, one eyebrow arched up. “I suppose that’d be one place to start this whole discussion you guys are so intent on having.” He snapped his fingers, changing his clothes from jeans and leathers to a loose white t-shirt and a pair of red silk shorts that had Magnus grinning.

Once changed, he shifted his weight so that he was sitting cross-legged beside Alec’s hip, though he never once let go of Alec’s hand as he did. He just settled their joined hands together in his lap, where he started to play with Alec’s fingers in a way that was reminiscent of how Alec liked to play with Magnus’ rings when nervous.

“Right,” Gabriel said abruptly. “Okay, so. You guys know quite a lot about angels, but my brothers and sisters in this universe are a bit more hands-off than the ones back where I’m from.”

That wasn’t the first time Gabriel had mentioned universes. Magnus made a mental note to come back to that later. Not only did it feel important, but it also tugged at the scholar in Magnus who liked collecting knowledge.

Gabriel tipped his head so that his hair spilled off to the side, and he kept his eyes down on Alec’s hand even as Magnus moved to mimic his pose on Alec’s other side. “So, if an angel wants to come down to earth, it’s generally a whole ordeal. Massive surge of angelic power, big blinding light, the whole shebang, right?”

“Right,” Alec said slowly, carefully watching Gabriel’s face, though it gave away nothing.

“Well, if an angel wants to be a bit more… discreet, there are other ways we can come down. Especially since most people down here can’t manage to see our true forms without, you know, melting their eyes or getting charbroiled, depending on the angel's strength. Which is kind of a big no-no when you wanna talk to someone. So to keep that from happening, angels can take a vessel.”

It took just a second for that to sink in. When it did, Magnus felt his eyebrows shoot upward toward his hairline. “You possess people.”

He watched Gabriel’s grin grow a bit harder around the edges. It was a shock to see that look, to recognize the self-deprecation behind a smile Magnus himself had worn so many times before. “Yeah. My siblings like to pretend we’re better than demons cause we need permission, but honestly, it’s still the same. It’s worse, even. Especially for archangels. Most angels can have any vessel they want so long as they say yes. Archangels require special vessels. _True_ vessels. Otherwise, we kind of explode the meatsuit. Even our true vessels don’t often survive, though.” He brought his free hand up and rubbed at his chest. “I got a bit lucky. When I ran away from home, I met some people who were able to help me _make_ a new vessel. One that didn’t have a soul in it first. This one’s one hundred percent _mine_.”

That was – okay, that was different, and not what Magnus had expected. Nor was it something he was quite sure he knew what to think about. The fact that Gabriel was apparently alone in his _meatsuit_ , as he put it, was good. Magnus was more than a little grateful for that. But… to think about angels using vessels the same way that demons could, _possessing_ people… it was a bit mind-boggling.

The silence was broken when Alec suddenly asked, “How does that even work?” The two other men turned to look at him, and he shrugged, a bit flustered but still curious. “I just… I mean, I remember what it was like when Raziel was summoned. How does all that fit in… _there_?”

A hint of real humor lightly touched the edges of Gabriel’s smirk. “Well, with the right amount of lube, just about _anything_ can fit, if you want it to.” Alec’s cheeks instantly went bright red in that adorable way of his that Magnus never tired of seeing. It seemed to delight Gabriel just as much as it always delighted Magnus. More of that self-deprecation faded from Gabriel’s look when he laughed. “You’re too easy sometimes, kiddo, I swear.”

“You know what I meant,” Alec insisted, giving Gabriel that glare that lacked any real heat to it.

“My answer was more fun, though,” Gabriel shot back, winking. When Alec’s glare just deepened, his cheeks still red, Gabriel laughed again but relented. “Oh, fine. First of all, let me say that my brother’s a bit of a showoff in _any_ universe, and he likes playing the ‘behold me and tremble’ image you humans like to have. But honestly, angels are, well, we’re made up of something called _grace_. Up in Heaven, we’ve got True Forms, but down here on earth, those are just something not even your nephilim eyes can perceive. Your brains don’t quite comprehend it all. You do better than what you call mundanes, but you’re still limited. So, your brain kind of builds an image it can handle, helped along by what my brother projects.”

“But how does any of that fit down into a human-size body?” Alec asked.

“Very, very carefully,” Gabriel said. At Alec’s dry look, he held out a free hand and shrugged. “I’m not trying to be a shit, I promise. It’s just, it’s a bit complicated, and it involves descriptions of things you probably don’t have any reference for. Suffice to say we’re just big balls of light that kind of pour into the vessel and takes up every inch of space in there, which is why it’s so hard for the soul to survive.”

Quiet fell over the bedroom for a moment. Alec turned to look at Magnus, and he lifted one eyebrow in silent question. They didn’t have to share mind-reading abilities for Magnus to know what he was asking. And, honestly, the answer to it was pretty easy. Maybe it would’ve been harder if Gabriel’s vessel still had a soul in it, if it hadn’t been _made_. But they couldn’t exactly judge him for something he hadn’t even done, could they?

When the two of them looked back to Gabriel, they found him watching them with a hint of trepidation on his face.

It was Alec who spoke for them. He always seemed to find the words that needed saying no matter how little he believed in himself. Somehow, he just seemed to always know what to say to make things better. Now was no exception. With his hand still in Gabriel’s, he gave a gentle squeeze, and he smiled that sweet, boyish smile that always left Magnus feeling like the most beautiful person in the room. “We’re not going to judge you for being yourself, Gabriel. Maybe it’d be a bit awkward if we had to think about someone else being in there with you. But it’s just… it’s you.”

“Alexander is right.” Though Magnus wasn’t holding on to Gabriel the way that Alec was, he still did his best to offer comfort in a smile, a look. “You are who matters to us, _kasih_. You, Gabriel, not you the archangel.”

It was painful to see just how much Gabriel wanted to believe that – and how little he honestly did. Magnus knew that feeling. He knew what it was like to feel like everything about you was dark and broken and _wrong_. To be so used to people seeing you as something dangerous, seeing you as a tool for them to use but not worthy of being kept around, until you felt that was all you were good for. Something to pull out when things went wrong only for them to berate him afterward – for using the very darkness they’d demanded, for not doing it fast enough, not saving enough people, or countless other reasons that never made sense yet hurt all the same.

Gabriel closed his eyes tightly, and his body shuddered as he fought to control it. Fought to control himself.

“I did horrible things,” he said softly, so softly they almost couldn’t hear it. Neither Magnus nor Alec said anything; they just let him talk, let the words pour out of him like venom seeping from a wound. One that needed to be lanced before it could ever begin to heal. “I got tired of the fighting back home, so I ran away, and I left all my younger siblings with my big brothers who’d stopped giving a shit about anything. I went, and I hid with the pagans, and I let myself get lost in blood and flesh and sex until it almost drowned out the sounds of my family screaming for me to come home. I… I hurt people, good people, and it almost destroyed the world. And when I finally stepped up, my brother…”

Gabriel’s free hand came up and rubbed against his chest, just below his breastbone.

“I should’ve died.” Those words were the softest yet. They throbbed with a pain older than time and ages deep. “I… I should be dead. Instead, I woke up back in that place, back where Lucifer…” The shudder that shook Gabriel looked to be soul-deep. He bowed his head, and Magnus swore he caught a glimmer of something behind him, trembling in the air. Gabriel’s hand moved up to wipe over his face though he’d shed not a tear. Could he even cry in a vessel? Did they show feelings that way?

Alec, who had never been able to stand seeing someone in pain, especially someone he cared for, made a soft, soothing sound. “Gabriel.”

Only, Gabriel shook his head, dismissing the comfort like he didn’t deserve it. In his eyes, he likely didn’t.

He kept his eyes down on his and Alec’s join hands as he spoke again, and this time his voice was lower, almost devoid of emotion. “I ran, because that’s what I do best. The only person I cared about was gone, trapped somewhere I couldn’t get to him, and I just… I ran. And I ended up here. Hiding out with the nephilim seemed like a good enough idea. I figured I could do some good here, maybe. Not like it’d ever be enough to drown out everything else, but something’s better than nothing, right?”

“Gabriel.” This time Alec’s voice was stronger and aching while still gentle in that unique way of his. It was the sound he took when nightmares had Magnus trembling in his arms during the dark moments of the night. Or when he held Magnus’ face so gently in his hands and told him _There is nothing ugly about you_. That tone that said _I love you_ and _They’re beautiful, you’re beautiful_ , and _You are the furthest thing from a Greater Demon._

Alec brought his hands up to carefully cup Gabriel’s face between his palms, and he pulled the archangel in close, drew their foreheads together in a soft touch that spoke of so much care. What he whispered wasn’t something that Magnus could hear, but he could see the way it sent a shiver down Gabriel’s spine, how that shiver seemed to grow into the kind of trembles that couldn’t be faked, couldn’t be chased away.

Nothing could’ve kept Magnus in place then. Carefully, mindful of Alec’s injuries, he crawled over his boyfriend’s legs to get to the other side where he could move up behind Gabriel, his body squished between them.

How they moved after that was a mystery. Likely a combination of them, his magic, and Gabriel’s own power. Whatever it was, they got settled there in the bed with Gabriel in the middle, Magnus’ body spooned up behind him so that the shorter man was plastered safely between Magnus and Alec. Held right there with them where he was meant to be.

Gabriel made a pained sound. He clutched at Magnus’ hand where it’d been pressed against Gabriel’s chest to further pin him in place.

“Don’t go,” Alec whispered, his breath blowing against Gabriel’s hair. “We want you here. Right here with us.”

Magnus pressed in closer and added in his own quiet plea. “Stay.”

He felt the tremble that ran down Gabriel, felt the way he cracked open just a bit more in a way that Magnus doubted he’d ever been able to do anywhere else. They held him together and let him break apart between them. His soft “Okay” was barely heard. Yet, it was enough.

It felt right to lay there and hold Gabriel like this. To be able to feel his body pressed against Magnus’ front, fitted perfectly in the curve of him. To be able to reach out at the same time and twine his feet around Alec’s. To push up above Gabriel’s head and steal a kiss from his shadowhunter. This, all of it, this was everything Magnus hadn’t known he’d wanted, and something he was more than willing to fight desperately for.

Things weren’t perfectly figured out. They likely wouldn’t be, not for a while. Magnus could see the conversations waiting to happen in the future. There was a lot they’d all need to talk about. But, those were the kinds of things that came with time in any sort of relationship. He and Alec still had stuff with one another they’d need to talk about at some point.

What mattered now was that Gabriel was here with them, and he wasn’t planning on going anywhere. So long as they had him, so long as they all had each other, the rest could be figured out.

For now, Magnus was content to lay there with two people who meant the world to him, and keep them both safe, even just for a little while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, there will be more, don't worry! I'm not leaving these guys behind :)

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading - be sure to let me know what you think!
> 
> And if you'd like to join a Multifandom server on Discord, come hang out [HERE](https://discord.gg/82pvdE39fD) with me and a group of amazing people!
> 
> Also, though I'm rarely on there, you can find me on tumblr [HERE](https://to-the-stars-writing.tumblr.com/) and say hi, send an ask, or even leave me a prompt if you'd like :)


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